Life of the Healds

Just Another Night

2012-01-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

After a long day of running around, doing errands, working out, being a mommy, and Chris working hard to provide for our family, I love that we can still take time to sit down at the dinner table and eat as a family. I may not be cooking up a storm like I used to, but you know what, that is okay. Being a wife, a mother of two, a friend to others who need me keeps me pretty busy these days, and I love it. But Chris has been stepping in and showing off his mad cooking skills and I am so grateful for that. I love my family!

So tonight as I cuddled and played with my little doddlebug Eli on Logan's bed we sat and watched Logan and daddy playing cars, and goof around with each other. God continues to show me just how blessed I really am when I hear the laughter, see the smiles, and feel the love that is being shared in that very moment. For all the things that are happening right now in our lives I am thankful for having these men in my life. These are memories that I love and will cherish, and it is memories like that that make all the trying times fade away.

Doodle bug, Eli

Love bug, Logan

Eli's first taste of sweet potatoes.

Yep, big brother relaxing with the iPad on the sofa.

Trust me Eli, I won't drop you.
Mommy, I'm not so sure about this.

Aww, our little Doodle bugs is growing up.

Logan three years old and Eli almost seven months

Logan with daddy's glasses

Hopefully we'll get a family picture of the four of us soon, but until then you'll have to be content with our love bug and doodle bug.

-Happy New Year Everyone!

My Little Elf and I

2011-12-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned Christmas photos and maybe a post will be following soon.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Mommy Break!

2011-10-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

We'll be back... I promise! We just have a lot of stuff going on right now. So please keep checking back. You never know when I may post. :)

Logan 3yrs and Eli 4 months

My Little Men!

On A Brighter Note

2011-09-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

BMW must of stumbled across my blog post... BMW to introduce laser headlights.

Alright, so their car by far out beats mine, but I think I got my point across... almost.

In Memory Of My Mema

2011-09-08T11:59:00.000-07:00

Mema's Favorite Flower... A Daisy.

Ellen Virgina Davis

July 27, 1926 - September 8, 2011

Saying Good-Bye Is Hard To Do...

2011-09-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

In a few days time my grandmother, Mema will be nothing more then a pure loving memory to me. Her body is shutting down on her quickly.

The time has come that I had to say my good-byes to my Mema. She is and will be the last of my grandparents so to speak. My dad's mom is still a live, but I never really knew her as I have mentioned in a prior entry.

So instead of talking about the last few months or years of Mema's health battles instead I am going to share what type of person my grandmother was to me and who she was the way I saw her. She was a stern woman who knew what she wanted and how she wanted it, which at times, in life, isn't always a bad thing. She would consistently keep her mind fresh and always had the itch to learn new things. She loved to read, loved to do crossword puzzles, loved to send cards to anybody and everybody whether it was for the holidays, special occasions, or just to say "I am thinking of you". Mema was a strong-willed, stubborn, tell-you-like-it-is Irish woman, which I loved that about her (unless she directed it at me). But she was also loving, supportive, passionate, and caring to me, her granddaughter. She always loved the gifts I got her, or so she gave the impression she did. I could get her anything with penguins, Garfield, cats, koala bears, or even Eeyore on it and she would go nuts over it. So nuts in fact, that if it was a stuffed animal she would place them somewhere around her TV area or close by the front door so when people came to the door she could tell people about them. She was a nurse who worked hard at her job, because taking care of people was what she loved to do. As a mother she may not have always been there for her daughter, my mom, but as a grandmother she was there for me and encouraging me along with my parents.

Every year at Thanksgiving she would bring one specific VHS tape (yes, that's right, VHS tapes was the cool technology when I was younger), that had Mickey's Christmas Carol and How The Grinch Stole Christmas on it. She would always bring me the latest Disney movies too, but that was the one and only tape I would want and expect every year to watch on Thanksgiving Day and everyday that follow all the way up until Christmas Day. Another memory I have of Mema and that I have turned into my own family tradition is personalized ornaments. I will pass this tradition on to my kids like she passed it onto me. See, each Christmas instead of signing a little sticker saying "to and from" our Christmas presents, she would picked out specific ornaments that matched our personalities or interest and had our names and year place on them. Not many people would care nor probably connect the dots with this tradition, but I did. So yes, each year that's what I do for my family.

Mema loved to tell me stories of her childhood and at the time I didn't enjoy listening to them, and it wasn't until I was much older and much too late to appreciate them. There is so much more that I could list off because she had 85 years of her life to do and talk about.

I remember Mema driving me all the way to down town Phoenix to see Fantasia, showing for the first time in theaters. I also remember being embarrassed driving around with her in her bright orange "pumpkin" Datsun car, with the gray, fuzzy cat like steering wheel cover. But she drove that car around town with great pride. Yes, my grandmother was one of those scary, crazy, old lady drivers, but I loved her anyways for it.

If I ever was an inconvenience to her she never showed it or if she did I was in my own little world to even notice it. Towards the end when she was still semi-coherent she would light up in excitement to see me. Her expression was like... she had just won the lottery. When she talked about me to others she talked with great pride in her voice. She was always so proud of me and my accomplishments in life. Besides my parents she would be the next person in line that I couldn't wait to go show off my design projects to, or my sports awards/trophies, or anything else of mine. She always made the things I did seem like it was the best thing in the world.

She wasn't the type of grandmother to bake cookies, or go shopping with. But she was the type of grandmother to teach me how to sew if I could have sat down long enough to learn, the type of grandmother to encourage reading, if I was the type of granddaughter who enjoyed reading at a young age, but the one thing she could get me to do with her was to watch Disney movies with her.

But the time has come for me to tell her good-bye, that I love her, and that she will be missed was today. Thanks Mema for loving me so...

Not Wanted Nor Invited!

2011-08-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, so unlike the other house pet we had, yes, Henry III let me set him free, we had another unwanted house guest appear this morning in my kitchen...alive.

This little bugger is unworthy of a name

Another House Pet

2011-08-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, Henry III, I wish you weren't the third and I bet we'll probably have a fourth seeing as you will not let me catch you. I don't know if you are aware but we saved Henry I from a painful death, but sadly we weren't able to get to Henry II in time. He met our ferocious black beast named Pounce. Henry II did not have a happily ever after I am afraid to say. So please let me catch you so I can set you free outside to live on with your kin.

All Up To Date

2011-07-25T23:47:00.001-07:00

Alright, old entries and new ones are posted. Starting back from June 23 to July 22.

Enjoy!

A Mother Of Two

2011-07-22T09:43:00.001-07:00

Well, I have now been a mother of two for one month now, and it is definitely... an adjustment. Chris and I say repeatedly that it feels like we have had Eli in our lives for at least 15 months now, but in actuality, pregnancy aside, he has only been with us for one month and two days. We keep thinking and saying we should have this under control by now, but really it hasn't been that long so no we shouldn't. I wish I could remember with Logan how long it took us to get into a groove or schedule, but I can not.

We love both boys very much and yes, they are as different as night and day, already. Eli doesn't hesitate to tell us when he's hungry, wet, tired, and/or needs cuddle time. We got extremely spoiled, I mean extremely SPOILED by Logan in so many ways, one way in particular is that the boy would sleep right off the bat eight to twelve hours every night while taking long naps during the day. We know we can not compare the two boys against each other, that's just not far, but I in all honesty sometimes it's hard not to because we're trying to go off with what's familiar to us. I guess we're back to the drawing board... somewhat.

We're still trying to get back on our schedule, which hasn't been easy, but it's slowly getting back on track. I have found that I can no longer stay up until midnight, well I can, but I will be dead on my feet with two little ones the next day. So now the latest that I can and should stay up is about 9:30 to 10:30pm... so sad. However, the rewards are far greater then I could have ever imagined. I love cuddling with Logan and Eli every morning on the couch. I will be cuddling and feeding Eli in one arm, and cuddling and holding Logan with the other arm while we all slowly wake up.

Everyone keeps asking us how Logan is doing with the transition of having a little brother, and in all honesty he is doing well. He loves grabbing Eli's bottle and shaking the formula up, he is always concerned when he hears Eli cry especially if Eli isn't in the car if it's just Logan and I going out. I love watching Logan share his toys with Eli even though Eli just stares at them. Logan will also make sure he gives Eli kisses and hugs every day and night before naptime and bedtime... along with mommy, daddy, the cat, the pillow, the cars and whatever else he can get to in order to stall his bedtime. But he's cute and I'm a sucker for my little man.

Although Chris and I may have some trying days we wouldn't change them. This is our wonderful family of four and we could not be more blessed.

I have already gone out on my own with both little ones and in the beginning that was hard, but I'm getting the swing of things. I think things will be a lot smoother and quicker once we get a new and hopefully better car that has a little more space. I am finding that a double stroller is now a must, not a want, but a need. So I will be reading reviews and shopping soon for a double stroller. Now if I walk through the mall with the double stroller and only one kid in it I will and would have become my biggest nightmare. To clarify for those who don't know this reason behind this comment allow me to explain. When I worked in retail I would have to race and fight tooth and nail around mothers with double strollers and only one kid or sometimes no kid in them. Typically this would be my lunch hour and I would race up to the food court to wait in line, then order my food, wait to pick it up, and then race back down to the store to eat my lunch in the back office, but not before waddling slowly and impatiently behind moms with double stroller staring off into their own little world called window shopping. No joke, this happened every single time I would make an attempt to buy my lunch at the food court and would shave off about 10 minutes total off my sometimes 30 minute lunches. By the way... I'm not one for being patient when food is involved just ask the people who know me. So with that said, I will be investing in a double stroller and will probably be that mother with the double stroller and only one kid in it sometime strolling around the mall, because yes, lets face it God will want to teach me more about being humble. So, sorry in advance for those on their lunch hour who have to waddle, zig zag, and maneuver around me.

All in all, this mommy of two could not be any happier then I am right now with my beautiful family.

Here are some more Eli and Logan pictures.

Logan, Nana, and Eli

Pappa Jack, Logan, and Eli

Hello!

Sorry these are so dark

Aww!

A long day!

Aunt Chava and Logan

Logan driving a build a bear car in the store.

Cheese!

I had more pictures of other family members with the boys but they didn't come out well. Sorry, need to take new ones.

One Month Already

2011-07-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

Well, my baby Eli is one month old today! Still so hard to fathom the thought, but yet it's a fact. Today at his well check he weighed in at nine pounds and eleven ounces (my cute little butterball), coming in at the 50 percentile, his length is 22 inches placing him in the 50 to 75 percentile. Eli was such a trooper!

Eli at one month.

My Doodle Bug!

Telling Us Like It Is

2011-07-11T21:21:00.001-07:00

Well, we finally were able to give Eli his first official bath last week. Let me tell you, he was not to happy with mommy.

Yep, he's mad!

Still adorable though!

Aww, but how cute is he anyway?

Complications

2011-07-09T14:18:00.001-07:00

Well, with every pregnancy of course comes recovery. I wish I could say that I have had a smooth transition this time after my pregnancy, but well, I haven't. Smooth in some cases but difficult in others. My difficulty this time around has been with breastfeeding as everyone has been made aware in prior postings. I felt like breastfeeding would come natural and easy, since I really had no complications before. However, I have found out that breastfeeding is not like riding a bike, so to speak.

To catch everyone up who follows me (us), I have had to say good-bye to breastfeeding this time around. There wasn't a lack of trying, even after I healed the first time and second time I thought I give it one more shot. I am sad to say that the third time was not the charm for me. After having one really rough and scary night with Eli I had made up my mind that's it's just not worth it.

I have my good days and bad days about not being able to breastfeed Eli. Although I know it's not the end of the world and many, many babies out there go on living perfectly healthy lives only being feed formula I am still having a difficult time adjusting to the formula feeding concept. I may go more into depth with what happened to my body and the problems I encountered, but right now I can not without breaking down in tears. As of right now I feel like a failure as a woman, a wife, and mother.

We Will Be Back... Promise.

2011-07-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry that there hasn't been any further updates, but as you can imagine two little ones (newborn and almost three year old) can keep you very busy. I will try to find time soon to post about everything that has been going on. But in the mean time please continue to check back... you never know when something new will be posted.

Here's an update picture though of Logan and Eli

Love Bug (Logan), and Doodle Bug (Eli)

The Healing Process

2011-06-27T13:52:00.001-07:00

Although this pregnancy was easier and my recovery is ten times better then what I went through with Logan it is still very painful. Logan and Eli are so worth every pound, every pain, everything my body has and is enduring.

This time around I have been having a difficult time with the whole healing process. Breastfeeding is not going well for me at all (I thought it was difficult with Logan in the begin, nope this time doesn't even compare), being stretched again down in the lower region hurts more this time around than it did the first (apparently that's normal and happens to every women), and the pressure and swelling of my thighs, legs, and feet do to the IVs they gave me in the hospital have made it difficult for me to get around, and walk without having major pain.

Tonight I found out that breastfeeding may not be an option for me this time around, but will find out in a few days for sure. This bit of news has hit me harder then I would have ever thought. With Logan my mind set was, "Well I'll give it a try, if it works great, if not well at least I tried", where as this time around I had my mind set on doing it since it workout great last time. I think I am starting to understand how other women feel when they want to try childbirth naturally without medical interventions and then find out when it's time to deliver they have to have medical intervention. Having your hopes set on one thing and then finding out that it just may not be an option is hard to digest. So Chris and I are praying that God can heal this part of my body so that I can proceed with breastfeeding, but I'm also having to prepare myself for going the formula route.

Since my hormones are still way out of whack I have been way more clingy then I like to be. My poor husband, really isn't getting to have time for himself right now. If he's not working, or helping me with our little men, then he's having to comfort me through all of my mood swings... mostly crying. I swear someone could give me a dirty look and I'll weep like a baby right now.

The swelling in my thighs, legs, and feet have been terrible. Before with Logan we thought part of it was do to the IVs that they gave me and the other part an allergic reaction to percocet. However, this time around I haven't had percocet, just the IVs that they gave me. At first I thought my body was handling the IVs quite well until the last day in the hospital and the next day after we were home. I still have extra fluids in my thighs and legs, but nothing compared to my feet. My feet still have quite a bit in there and it hurts to tough with a finger and I feel the water sloshing around everytime I take a step. Not a great feeling I must admit.

Yep, sexy legs huh?

I don't think the camera captured the swelling well, but at least you have an idea of what I'm dealing with.

Roller Coaster Ride

2011-06-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

Hormones are a funny thing...

Well, it has happened again, just like I knew it would. I am feeling the baby blues. I'm typically fine and somewhat myself during the morning and afternoon time, but come bedtime, is when everything hits me like a ton of bricks. The feeling of being alone, separated, and deserted. I have to say I HATE, absolutely HATE this feeling.

What is going through my mind right now is "can I cut it as a mother of two?" Will my sons both get the nurturing they need? Can I be there for both of them when they need me? I like to think I have the answer to these questions and I want to have the answer to these questions, but as of right now I have self doubt. I am also wishing again that I could freeze time. Logan has turned into a little person, not a baby or toddler, but an actual person right in front of me, if that makes any sense. It is like we dropped him off Monday morning at Pappa Jack and Yaya's house as a little "baby" toddler and got back in return a little person who is independent. This is not their fault by any means because this is who he was already. But now after having Eli my perspective got altered. Monday afternoon after having my newest of sons, Logan came visit me in the hospital, and it was there that I realized how grown up he looked. That itself is freaking me out. Time with my little ones are precious!

I feel extremely guilty that Logan hasn't had my full attention like he used to. I understand, somewhat that this will not be the case anymore now that I have two little ones, but I'm having a hard time adjusting to the new. I feel as though I'm consistently letting my husband and little boys down. I don't feel like myself and in fact I'm not myself right, which is another hard thing to over come right now. Knowing that I'm being too hard on myself, while at the same not being able to control it. I feel like I am a prisoner in my own body right now unable to control myself. I know this won't last forever, but right now it is hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel... welcome baby blues.

The Miracle Of Life

2011-06-24T02:36:00.001-07:00

As Chris and I welcomed our new son into the world Monday afternoon we rejoiced with each other on another beautiful, healthy, and strong baby boy. All my fears about not being able to love another baby the way I do with Logan went away within seconds. The minute our son arrived I got to hold him in my arms and love on him. I don't know why I ever had doubt about not being able to love another.

Within seconds, Eli, our new son, took our breath away. He was finally here in our reach and in our arms. He is a 180 degrees different from Logan... which shouldn't surprise us. Our sons look nothing a like, we think. Eli has my strawberry blonde hair and yes, as of right now his baby blue eyes are more dominate then Logan's ever were, so we have a feeling they may stay blue. Eli's personality is already starting to present itself. He is not shy about letting everyone around him know what he's thinking and feeling. Welcome the redhead side. :)

We know that we're going to have the good and the trying times ahead of us, but we look forward to them. We are a beautiful family of four and could not be happier.

Delivery, Birth, and Recovery

2011-06-23T08:53:00.001-07:00

Getting ready for the motherload of all entries filled with a lot of information that you might consider TMI (too much information), but I need to have this logged. So there, you have been warned... proceed with caution. :)

Well, to start off with, Doodle bug, Eli Christopher did not have to be forced out, because he decided to come out on his own. Yep, Eli was born on his due date... I am still shocked by this actually. What are the odds that babies come on their due dates...? Oh yeah, that's right, only five percent, that's it! Although he was born on his due date, which can technically fall under, "second babies come faster" I was still in labor for twelve hours. Still less time then Logan, but only by five hours. Anyway, back to delivery. Since I couldn't remember what early contractions felt like I was on the alert for anything.

Around two o'clock Monday morning Chris finally decided he should get to bed, since we would be getting a call sometime after midnight on Monday to be induced. However, when Chris came to bed he woke me up, so I got up for about two hours before deciding to go back to bed. Well, as I crawled back into bed I started cramping. At first I dismissed the cramps because I just thought Eli was moving around and hitting a nerve, but the cramps went away fairly quickly, which wasn't normal. As I watched the time to see if I would get the cramping sensation again I noticed that it came back at the four minute mark. At that point something trigured inside my head to stay awake for about an hour and half to see if they we consistent. Well, as it turned out the cramps were lasting for about a minute and coming every three to four minutes. Since we live a half hour away from the hospital I wasn't going to take any chances, so after the hour and half went by and the cramps continued I called my doctor. She asked if they were intense, which at that point they weren't, but she said the minute they got intense to make our way to the hospital. Well, since I really didn't remember what labor contractions felt like (a mechanism God did on purpose so we would have more then one child), I wasn't sure I would be able to tell if they got intense. Well, after about ten minutes my body shortly figured it out... the contractions were coming every two to three minutes a part and were getting stronger. At this point Chris was trying to call his dad letting him know we were coming over now instead of that evening with Logan and heading straight to the hospital. We were going to just head over to his dad's house and camp out there for awhile until the contracts got stronger, but we never got that chance, since the contractions got stronger while we were at home and driving to his dad's house.

Well, we then made it to the hospital in time, no thanks to getting behind all the idiots on the road and in the HOV lane going slower than the speed limit.

As we got checked into triage the nurse watched my contracts for awhile to see if they were consistent. Of course my body failed on me just like my car would when I would take it into a mechanic to have to problem looked at and all of a sudden it fixed itself... my contracts started lightening up. So the nurse had Chris and I walk around the hospital floor for about an hour to see if I could get my contractions closer together and dilate more then two centimeters. After about an hour my contracts were back to being one to two minutes a part and I was dilated at four centimeters, so they moved me to the delivery room. After being poked with needles and getting my epidural (yeah that's right, I'm no dummy), we decided to call the family members to let them know what was going on. During my labor time I was still able to feel parts of my lower body and as the delivery portion was getting closer I was able to feel the contractions... I might add, not fun. The pain was so bad that it seriously felt like Eli was going to come out the wrong exist. I could not believe the pressure I was feel from the back end. However, during this time it was nice to have family members distracting me so I wouldn't pay too much attention to the pain.

Eli's birth was quick, I only pushed five times, maybe seven for about ten minutes and he was out. I could not believe it. I was so tired, since I didn't get any rest really the night before and during my labor time in the hospital, but I managed.When he was born, just like with Logan, I was the first one who got to hold my little blessing, my doodle bug. He didn't have a ton of hair like Logan did, but he did have some, and yes, it was strawberry blonde just like mine.

Our little blessing was born at 5:28pm, weighing in at seven pounds nine ounces, and measuring at twenty and quarter inches long... he was and still is perfect. Looks like he gets his firetruck after all since he was less then eight pounds. I was hoping that he would only be one ounce more than his brother, but nope, he was four ounces less.:)

Now, lets talk recovery...
Like I did with Logan I'm going through it again with Eli. My body has decided to retain all the fluids so I am very much swollen. I just have a lot in my body right now that my kidneys can't get rid of it fast enough. I have the baby blues, the pain, discomfort, and swollen legs, feet, face, and arms. Lets hope my body bounces back faster this time around since I took better care of myself during this pregnancy. Bright side my PUPPS went away after delivery. Yay!

Welcome!

2011-06-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

I will be going in further detail about our little Doodle Bug in another post, but for right now we just wanted to announce Eli's arrival.

Welcome Eli Christopher Heald

June 20, 2011

Weighing in at 7 pounds and 9 ounces

My Walk In Faith

2011-06-18T00:19:00.000-07:00

There are times I sit back and wonder how much have I truly grown, and I'm not just talking about growing up as a person, but growing in my spiritual walk with God. My parents brought me up to believe in God, and we would go to church when I was younger... maybe age five, if not younger. But then we stopped going for many reasons, but one reason that I am able to remember, was that I just did not like Sunday school. If you can imagine me being stubborn, mouthy, and with a temper, then you can probably understand why my parents decided not to fight the matter. My parents also would tell me that I don't need a building to believe in God or a building to pray to God, because God is around and with me every second of the day.

So I think around age five is when we finally stopped going all together. I remember as a kid and teenager feeling very uncomfortable when entering a church. It felt foreign to me. But it took a tough and dramatic life altering experience to begin to bring me back to God. I never left completely, but I never really would pursue Him either. At age 20 I finally started becoming interested in my faith, interested in the bible, and wanting to grow. A few months before I met Chris (my husband), I started going to a Bible study group with one of my co-workers over at ASU. I enjoyed myself, but still felt out of place, and wasn't grasping a darn thing. But I continued to go because I was determined.

As time went on I continued to go to church with Chris, and I'm happy that I didn't give up. But I'm also happy that Chris was brought up to learn and ask questions about his faith and of the church. Through his comprehension of the Bible he was able to help me better understand the messages. Chris would encourage me to ask the leader of the Bible study and or the pastor at CCC questions, but I wasn't comfortable enough at the time. Then one Sunday morning a pastor by the name of Scott Brown came to speak at CCC, and it was the first time I truly listened, comprehended, and learned. Still to this day seven maybe eight years later I can remember what Scott spoke about. I remember walking out of there thinking I liked him and I wish he had a church of his own in Arizona. This was the first time I wasn't sitting in church looking at the time. Not that there was anything wrong with the other pastor, but that Scott had a way to communicate the message better for me. Long story short Pastor Scott Brown picked up and moved his whole family to Arizona and started a church. At first we started out as a small group gathering in their house on Tuesday or Wednesday nights I believe. Then as our group started to grow we needed a bigger location.

Well, seven or eight years later I am happy to say that our church has grown and New Valley Church holds a special place in my heart and in my walk with faith. I feel like I still have way more to learn, but in the years of attending church, serving, researching, and asking questions I no longer feel completely lost nor undeserving to step into a church. I do at times struggle with "trusting in God", but only because I want to be the one in control, the one who knows the outcome. But sadly I will never be in control nor know the outcome. I see Gods work in my life time and time again, and even though I can see it I still have a little bit of doubt. However, I've been told that's normal and it's normal for me to continue to question my faith... that's the only way I (we) learn and grow.

Tonight I came across a video that was made for me when I decided to be baptized, and although this video means way more to me than anybody else I have decided to share it. This video reminded me tonight just how far I have comed with my faith and just how much further I still need to go. But I am okay with that because I know now who my God is and I trust in him even in my small times of doubt.

Bryanne Growing Up from New Valley on Vimeo.

Jeff thank you so much for making this video for me and keeping it around on the internet for me to find. I remember this day so well, but watching the video triggers even more memories. Thank you!

Pregnancy Coming To A Close

2011-06-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

The other day when I woke up from a late nap it dawned on me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that my pregnancy will be over with by next Tuesday. I felt a sense of mixed emotions about this. In one sense I was happy because I will finally get to hold my baby in my arms, but on the flip side I started to feel sad at the thought of not being able to feel him moving around in my tummy. He's not even out yet and already had the feeling that I was alone in the world... the same exact feeling I got with Logan after he was born. I am still thrown back by just how strong my emotions can be while I am pregnant. I know I am going to love and enjoy every new adventure that comes our way as a family of four now, but will also miss the pregnancy aspect of it as well. Maybe it's just one step closer to my boys graduating high school, going off to college, meeting the woman who they're going to spend the rest of their life with, etc. I know I'm getting way a head of myself, and I still have many more years before even dealing with those steps, but they are there and they will come. Even though I was pregnant for nine months I really only got to know Doodle Bug for six of those months because once you feel them moving that's when you really start to bond with them, or at least I do. What an amazing feeling... of getting to know your baby before they are even born.

I am proud of myself for documenting this pregnancy this time around, since there are things that I am already starting to forget. But now, without question or regret I get to go back into my archives and re-read my entries while looking at my tummy pictures. I still wish I did a little bit better with tummy pictures, but I can't get down on myself too much, because that was a big improvement from my prior pregnancy with Logan. Again, thanks to my friend Crystal Morgan for taking maternity pictures for us. I thoroughly enjoy looking at them and remembering that day as pure enjoyment.

I will admit that this pregnancy has been a lot easier not just because my perspective changed, but physically it seemed easier... until these last few weeks approached. I am still way under my weight gain that I had with Logan, but still, next time, if there is a next time, I like to try to do even better. As of right now I gained the 35 pounds which is typical (normal for someone my height and weight was between 25 to 35 pounds), and have looked at calculations of disbursement of the weight, now I just hope it's accurate and the baby weight comes off much faster this time around since I did workout during my pregnancy.

Disbursement:

7 1/2 pounds is about how much the baby will weigh by the end of pregnancy.
1 1/2 pounds is how much the placenta weighs.
4 pounds is attributed to increased fluid volume.
2 pounds is the weight of the uterus.
2 pounds is the weight of breast tissue.
4 pounds is because of increased blood volume.
7 pounds is attributed to maternal stores of fat, protein and other nutrients.
2 pounds for the amniotic fluid.

Total: 30 pounds (Source)

Crossing my fingers this is true, so I only have ten pounds to work off on my own instead.

I also found out that I am very lucky that we even got pregnant in the first place with Logan and now with doodle bug. Since my cycles are never the same and I can go from 28 days to 45 days and only have a period for two days that really lessens our chances of getting pregnant. So God has truly blessed us beyond measure!

Doodle Bug,

These last few months have been a blast and we can not wait to meet you next Tuesday sometime. Please continue to be strong and healthy because you have a huge family waiting to meet and greet you the second you come out. Oh, and thank you for letting mommy eat her steak during the pregnancy... I will have to buy you a firetruck when you come out. See you soon our little June Bug.

Eviction Noticed Served!

2011-06-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

Today was my last doctor's appointment with Dr. Langer. Yep, that's right, doodle bug is getting his eviction notice next Tuesday sometime. Chris and I will be getting a call from the hospital sometime after midnight on Monday (so really Tuesday Morning) to come in and be induced... assuming he doesn't arrive before hand. Since we're not past 41 weeks and baby isn't estimated to be huge we are lower on the list but nevertheless we're on the list (oh, and family we love you, but please don't call in checking with us throughout the day seeing if we're at the hospital... we will call you to let you know, promise).

Doodle bug's heartbeat sounded great, my blood pressure was a little lower then normal, but nothing to be concerned about, weighing in at 165 (bah!), was dilated between one and half to two centimeters, being 75 percent effaced, and had the membranes stripped again, which I got to say was by far the worst of them all. But maybe third time is the charm and baby will come anytime this week/weekend. Great news though... Dr. Langer will be the on call doctor this weekend, so Doodle Bug can pick a day, any day, doesn't matter because I get Dr. Langer for sure.

I won't be posting a belly picture today because nothing has changed enough to tell the difference from week 38, so sorry. Well, stay tuned for doodle bugs arrival sometime soon.

Final Pregnancy Update

2011-06-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Well, as much as I am hoping for today to be my last check up I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be seeing Dr. Langer one last time in her office before baby is born.

Today's check up went well. Weight is at 162, blood pressure is normal, baby's heartbeat sounded good (didn't ask where it was at though), and yep, still only dilated one centimeter.

Which means... unless I get to two centimeters or more by next Wednesday I can not be induced until I hit my due date. I understand medically why, but I don't have to like it. I did have my membranes stripped again, so I am crossing my fingers that within the 48 hours something takes place. Also, found out that no matter what doctor is on call during the week that my doctor will be there to deliver doodle bug unless he decides to come on the weekend... then it's just a flip of a coin that Dr. Langer will be there. So again, pray and cross fingers this baby comes this Thursday night, Friday, and/or sometime during the week day.

As Dr. Langer was checking me to see if I was dilated more she did say that she could feel the baby's head and that he has dropped, so I have hope. Doodle Bug is still head down, which at this point I'm not so sure it would be easy for him to change positions, but you never know. So continue to pray that he remains head down.

I still have PUPPS, but the medication that I was given after Logan has been keeping them in-line, so they're more tolerable. We have everything packed and our call list ready for someone to get Logan if we need to book it fast to the hospital. My legs and ankles continue to swell, retaining water, and I continue to get pelvic pain. The only way to describe the pain is imagine someone pulling really hard on your pelvis bone trying to break it apart. Sleeping is getting more uncomfortable because of Doodle Bugs position, but I don't have that much longer to go, so I will continue to suck it up.

Chris, Logan, and I are all on countdown. I know I say this with every post but we can not wait to meet him and to hold him in our arms. Although we have two names picked out and are waiting to see what he looks like we have narrowed it down to just the one.

Well here is week 38 tummy pictures. If there are anymore tummy pictures they will probably be me laying down in a hospital bed. I hope you enjoy!

Prayer request as we get closer to Doodle Bugs arrival:

That Doodle Bug is born healthy and strong (mentally, physically, and spiritually)
An easy labor, deliver, and recovery
That I have an amazing and competent anesthesiologist again
That we make it to Scottsdale Healthcare at Shea
We have no still birth
That I don't suffer from postpartum depression
Give Chris and myself the energy that we need during this time
and if there is anything else you can think of please add to your prayers

Well, next Doodle Bug update will be when he arrives. Hoping Chris opens a twitter account for him too. :)

This Coming Week

2011-06-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

So as you all know the clocking is ticking for us. Chris and I are on the alert, which really means Doodle Bug is going to take his time, since we're ready for him. Lets face it he is half mine and Chris', which means he'll be double stubborn.

Well, this coming Wednesday I have another doctor's appointment and I will be having Dr. Langer stripping the membranes again, hoping that at least by Thursday I will be in a room with sterile walls delivering... but we never know. Our thought process is, is that since this is our second baby and second time of having the procedure done that maybe it will work this week. I guess we'll find out in a few days.

Look for more belly pictures this week... it just might be the last week for them.

Had To Share

2011-06-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

As Chris and I are approaching Doodle Bugs arrival it made me think of my labor/delivery day with Logan. So this afternoon as I was looking through my Twitter account of people I follow I came across baby Logan's account that Chris did when we were waiting his arrival. I have to share this because I still crack up to this day when I read it. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

For those who do not know, with my first son I had to be induced because he was chilling and taking his time coming out.

Here you go:

Click on picture to enlarge the conversation if you can't read it.

A Surprise Sprinkle

2011-05-31T07:01:00.000-07:00

Where do I start...

This past Saturday I had a surprise sprinkle (a baby shower) thrown for Doodle Bug and I. We (I) felt unbelievably loved and blessed beyond measure. I was so surprised that night. Here I thought I was just going out with my close lady friends, Kira, Crystal, and Sarah for a night out without the little ones, and lo and behold I was surrounded by other friends and family members wanting to celebrate Doodle Bug and I.

Everyone gathered at this wonderful restaurant in Old Town Gilbert called Liberty Market. If you live in Arizona and have not been this is a great place to eat at.

My friend Kira did such an amazing job with putting everything together... it was beautiful. Along with my loving husband keeping quiet and helping Kira with the invite list. I wasn't expecting a sprinkle, especially since I'm having another boy, but I am so glad that I had one. I can not describe how incredibly loved I felt that day knowing everybody took a few hours out of their busy schedules to share with me.

Doodle Bug was showered with wonderful gifts, diapers, and adorable outfits. Now he has some new outfits of his own, and doesn't have to always wear his big brother's hand-me-downs. :)

Thank you so much Kira for throwing this wonderful, loving, and beautiful sprinkle for me. Thanks to all the ladies for blessing me with your presence, wonderful conversations, and all your love. Below are some pictures that my friend Crystal took (will post when I get them), my sister-in-law Audrey took, and my mom. I hope you enjoy them!

Left to right: Becky, Sarah, Kira, Karen, my mom (Edie), (Caroline in spirit she had to leave early), Audrey, Emily, Ellyn, Me Mee, myself, and Crystal.

Emily (might be my sister-in-law one day) and Audrey (my sister-in-law)

Edie (mom) and Karen (Mother-in-law)

Left to right: Kira, Sarah, Becky, and Crystal

Audrey and I

Ellyn (sister-in-law) and Emily

Yep, that's me

Audrey and I again

Decisions, Decisions...

2011-05-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

Before I begin let me give you a Doodle Bug update. His heartbeat was strong (the doctor didn't tell us what level it was at though), and I am now weighing in at 160 now. Not excited about the number, but better then where I was at this time with Logan, Doodle Bug is worth every pound.

Well, as I mentioned last week I am now on weekly visits with my OB/GYN. EEE! So exciting because that only means countdown time. Today's check up went well. My test came back negative, which I wasn't worried about, but I am still only dilated one centimeter... I was bummed about that. I was hoping to be a little further along, but what can I do. Baby is sitting lower and lower each week. Since I have another appointment next week and will be considered full term at week 37 my doctor has given me the go ahead for getting my membranes stripped if I wanted. Typically I would shy away from this because it's not the most comfortable process, but I am considering it. Last time I had it done twice... nothing happened, welcome induction. But my doctor is saying that I might have a better chance of it working this time around since I'm already stretched so to speak.

My dilemma... Although I have enjoying this pregnancy, feeling the baby, not having to worry about two little ones running around at the same time, and more... I am at the "I'm done stage". I don't want to be too selfish, irresponsible, or irrational in making my decision about having this process done at 37 weeks when I still have technically two or three weeks left to go. However, if my doctor isn't showing signs for concern, baby is already to term, and all that is left is for me to become irritable, uncomfortable, and have more nights with restless sleep, I think why not, right? I guess really the only thing Chris and I can do is pray about this tough decision to make. The pelvic pains are coming more frequently and with vengeance. The swelling is showing up more now that it's warming up outside. I don't want to gripe because I have been truly blessed to carry Doodle Bug, but... at this stage it is hard not to. I find myself one minute saying, "woo hoo, go ahead with the process", but then five minutes later I'm thinking I can wait it out.

So I guess I'm asking for input on this topic whether I know you or not. I like to know what you would do?

Doodle Bug's Appointment

2011-05-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

Today was a good visit. Doodle Bug showed no signs of needing further ultrasounds, so this is the last ultrasound picture for you all.

Doodle Bug's face.

Doodle Bug's foot with two toes showing. The tech said he has big feet already...

hmmm wonder who he'll be taking after.:)

Well, Doodle Bug is still a boy and looking healthy. His heartbeat was 150 and he is in the 55th percentile... which means no inductions. :) His weight is estimated at six pounds and we have five more weeks to go, averaging a half a pound each week. So it looks like we might have an eight pound to eight and half pound little boy coming our way. I am still wishing for seven pounds and thirteen ounces, but I know I should probably give that wishful thinking up. Dr. Langer did my group B streptococcus screening and we'll get test results back sometime next week. Pray test result come back good. His kidneys looks fine, heart chambers looks good, skull measurement good, spine, ribs, chunky legs, bones, and more all seem to look good to the tech. He has also remained head down. Yay! I am however already dilated one centimeter, which to most people doesn't mean a whole lot, but that is one centimeter I was not expecting. With Logan I wasn't dilated at all even after having the membranes stripped twice (FYI, not fun to have done). So this means one or two things... one, baby could come early or on schedule, or two, I could be sitting at one centimeter for several weeks I guess time will only tell. We are now down to seeing the doctor ever week, which means it's crunch time.:) I am showing early sign of Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy (PUPPS), so I'm having to use my medicated cream again that I got after having Logan. Pray that these go away right after baby is born this time. They are not only itchy, but can sting too. I'd rather go through labor over and over again then to deal with PUPPS... that's how bad mine were the last time.

Well, other then that I'm still feeling good. We're getting very excited to meet our Doodle Bug and can not believe we're getting so close. Hospital bags are packed for all of us just incase, and we have Logan all set to go if he needs to stay at a grandparents house. We have the final two baby names picked out and praying that he looks like one of them... I think our family will like the name we give him, but if not, oh well. :)

Here are a few more belly pictures for everyone to enjoy.

35 weeks and weighing in at 157 pounds.

Maternity Shoot

2011-05-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

So as I mentioned a few weeks ago my friend Crystal took maternity pictures for us and I must say... we love how they turned out. I feel that this whole experience has been good for me.

Here is week 32 of my pregnancy... enjoy!

Doodle bug and mommy

Belly exposure

Love it!

My love

My men

Chris, Logan, doodle bug, and I.

Love bug

Kissing doodle bug

I love black and white pictures.

If I can remember correctly, doodle bug kicked daddy's hand.

My wonderful family.

I really love all the belly shots.

We will defiantly have more family pictures done when doodle bug gets here.

Thank you so much Crystal!

Photos taken by: Crystal Morgan

Will post her website when it is up.

Spoiled!

2011-05-13T14:42:00.001-07:00

There are days like today that God and reality slaps me in the face and makes me realize how spoiled I am. I don't begrudge this, but nor do I like seeing that I am this way. I know that I am not perfect by any means, but still would like to think that I am somewhat grounded and raised to be grateful. However, today it took one tabby cat, and two men in motorized wheelchairs for me to see how I not only take things for granted still, but to also show me how incredibly spoiled I am. Allow me to elaborate if you will.

This afternoon I posted on my Twitter feed and my Facebook feed, "Has a spa pedi this afternoon and I'm even too tired to take myself there. Must find the energy!". Now when I posted this I was just saying what I was feeling after a morning of running around doing errands with my son. I thought this was a very normal comment. However, now I see that it not only was a snob comment, but a petty, ungrateful, and spoiled comment. To the point now I'm thinking, "Seriously! Are you kidding me Bryanne Heald... you're going to complain that oh, so tired to get freakin pampered... COME ON!" Not that I want to show or say this aloud for the whole world to read, but I feel like it needs to be said. Sometimes telling myself the truth hurts, but I know that I can grow from this. Okay, so getting back to the several events that lead me to realize this ugly side of myself still exist. So as I'm getting ready to leave for my spa pedicure appointment I see this cute gray and black tabby laying out in our rocks in the shade in what felt like 115 weather, but the forecast only said the high today would be 101 degrees... still way too hot as far as I am concerned. Anyway, I felt so bad for him, but yet I wasn't going to bring him in our house. One, he actually could belong to someone, two, I just had to give my parents one of our cats because he was becoming a handful, and three, I didn't leave out food or water because then we would have every cat in the neighborhood coming to our door. So sad to say, I just drove away. Then as I was driving no more than a mile away from our house I see this gentleman in a motorized wheelchair moving down the street in the bike lane with no shade, no water from what I could see, dealing with the sun and heat beating down on him because he needs to get from point "A" to point "B". I felt like such a spoiled brat (worse names came to mind, but this is a family/public blog, so I need to keep it PG), more so than with the cat. Here I am driving in a much faster mobile, with full use of my legs, and with the air conditioning on high heading to my spa treatment.

During my drive to the salon all I could think about was the cat and this gentleman, and how I continue to repeatedly take what God has given me for granted. I still remember the experiment I did back in college were I placed myself in a wheelchair for almost 24 hours just to see what my world would be like if I didn't have the use of my legs. That day in itself was a big eye opener, but I'll leave that experience for another entry. However, today seeing that man brought back my experiment front and center in my mind. All I could think about besides how spoiled and ungrateful I was acting, was what could I do to help this man or what could I have done to help the cat? Then as I was heading back home after my pampered treatment I saw another gentleman in a motorized wheelchair, in the same exact situations as the gentleman I saw earlier.

I write this as another reminder to myself to grow as a person, but to also be grateful even more so with what God has given me.

As My Due Date Approaches

2011-05-12T23:35:00.000-07:00

As I approach the last few weeks of my pregnancy I am starting to feel everything now. I think God designs our bodies and memories to forget what it's like being pregnant the last few weeks and to also forget what it is like to give birth. If he didn't then our population would probably be low and nobody would have siblings.

I would have to say that I have done quite well this time around without complaining, which I am very pleased about. I will try to continue to keep my positive attitude for as long as I can. However, since I am approaching the end I will add that the aches and pains are getting harder to ignore. I am now waking up with major back pains, waking up ever 30 to 80 minutes to empty a bladder, hips are stretching more then ever and feel as though they're going to snap, breathing is starting to become a problem since doodle bug is running out of room and pressing against my lungs, waddling is now no longer a choice, sleep is starting to get harder and harder to do with a very active doodle bug at night and early morning, and new itchy stretch marks are coming in because heaven forbid doodle bug re-use current stretch marks that Logan left me.:)

When people find out when my due is their next question to follow is "are you ready to be done?" Well, I can honestly as of right now yes, yes I am ready to be done. Although I may kick myself later on when I'm chasing two little ones around instead of one, I feel as though having an extra set of hands will help. I do feel like I'm working overtime with grown this precious baby inside me and running after Logan. At least when doodle bug arrives I will have Chris to help out when he is able to. Hopefully I'll be back in somewhat good shape to run after a toddler and attend to a little one.

Well, next Monday is our last ultrasound and I have been waiting ever so patiently to see another glimpse of our little blessing. Please pray with us that everything looks great, and that we do not have any concerns that would have us get a 3D and 4D ultrasound. Although, I loved having one the last time with Logan, I didn't like the reason why we needed on. But God is good and Logan was fine when he was born. So look for more tummy pictures and ultrasound pictures next week.

The clock is TICKING... five weeks and two days to go or if you prefer days thirty nine days.

What Else Can I Say... But Amen!

2011-05-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

I came across this article earlier today and could not help but to share it with others. I found this article to be extremely well written, and if I were to write a piece about Mother's Day, I would hope that I could have written my piece in such a loving manner. The title is called, For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms. I encourage everyone to take the time to read this article even if you don't feel like it may apply to you.

I found that while reading this article that I could relate in not one, not two, but three areas. First when I was single I had the desire to be a mom and would envision how I would be as a mom. Secondly, the author of this article says, "Being a mom exposes all the ways you are a sinner, not a saint...If you have any grasp on your reality, you are likely painfully aware of every failure you’ve made with your children...It’s okay that your children expose your own sin." I feel as though I sin against my son daily. Then lastly, losing a baby due to a miscarriage. Trying and wanting something so bad, knowing you have it right within your reach and then have it taken from you. Although, when I had my miscarriage I wasn't terribly far a long (I still felt the pain, emptiness, and sadness of it), God used that unpleasant experience to open my eyes and helped grow me as his daughter, woman, and mother in so many ways.

As all my readers have seen and read in my past entries I am not perfect, and with all jokes aside, when I say that I am, I know that I am not. Being a mother has been such an amazing blessing that I am so fortunate to get to experience it. I mourn with those who have not or can not experience this, and get angry with those who discard a baby period, but especially before they ever get the chance to breath, see, and experience life. I will clarify, that I did not always get so angry about abortions, but neither did I support it. However, I will stop here on this subject and might pick it back up at another time. But for now, I want to live in the moment of the article that I just got done reading and sharing with you, because it moved me so much.

We all need God in our lives on a daily basis. I will be the first to admit that I may not also say thank you, give praise to, or share his word as often as I should. But I know these are some areas in my life that God will continue to grow me in.

To every women who stumbles across or comes to my blog on purpose I want to wish you all a Happy Mother's Day even if you are single right now, struggling, morning, or celebrating.

Happy Mother's Day!

Sometimes Life Throws Us Curve Balls...

2011-05-05T07:21:00.001-07:00

There are events, situations, catastrophic illness, and more that come up in life that make a person always re-evaluate their life's priorities, or I would hope so anyways. Well, I haven't had to really re-evaluate what is important to me too much, because family has always been important to me... no matter how much they drive me nuts at times. But, I have been thinking a lot about what has been happening to my friend and her family lately, because it is so close to home. Her situation really puts into perspective just how fragile life really is and that we are not always destined for tomorrow's breath.

The beginning of this week one of my friend that I had the pleasure of knowing in my Bible study group up in Scottsdale has been dealing with a very close call... almost losing her husband. She is a wonderful and loving person that you just want to know. She is a stay at home mom with a 20 month old son, pregnant with their second, roughly the same age as Chris and myself, and her husband is the sole provider for their family. Well, this past week he was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis, which is the worst of the two meningitis' to get... this one can cause brain damage or death. It's an infection that gets into the fluid of the spinal cord and the fluid that surrounds the brain. He caught it through a sinus infection. I guess from what I have read we all carry this in our throats and mouths, but it's harmless unless it breaks through the body's immune defenses which from what I gather is rare, but still a possibility. Anyway, I've been staying in contact with my friend through via Facebook and her blog, since she doesn't have a lot of free time to talk to every single person. We know that our medical resources are great, doctors are more knowledgeable then they were 100 years ago, and we have a big variety of medications that can fight a lot of infections, diseases, cancers, etc. But lets not forget that God is stronger than all of those put together.

The medication that they have my friend's husband on seems to be working and results that have been coming back have been good (God's power and her husband's youth has to be on his side), but this will be a slow recovery; and there is the chance things could move backwards. However, I (we) continue to pray for him, his wife, and son that God heals his body back to hundred percent with no damage done, wisdom, strength, and guidance for my friend, his wife, and the continued love and support of family and friends for them and their son.

I write this not only to have others who read this please pray with us, but also to say value the things that are really important... family. Do not just assume that because they're family you can treat them however, not spend time with them, or not get to know them for who they really are. Life is precious and can be taken as quickly as it is given to us. Don't let something catastrophic hit home first before you realize what you have.

A Doodle Bug Update

2011-05-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday evening Chris, Logan, myself, and doodle bug got together with our friend Crystal to take maternity pictures. We all had such a blast! I really should have done that when I was pregnant with Logan. Thank you so much Crystal! We can not wait to see how they came out.

As I mentioned last week in my most recent post, today was our 33 week OB appointment. Doodle bug checked out fine, but not sure what we can really get out of measuring my stomach and listening to his heartbeat. But we'll take what we can get! So our doodle bug is measuring between 32 and 33 weeks right now, and his heartbeat was between 138 to 144. His heartbeat is much lower than Logan's ever was, but Dr. Langer showed no signs of worrying, so I won't either. We are now down to going to the OB every two weeks, which means... we're getting to the countdown part of doodle bugs arrival. EEE, so excited to meet this new little person that has been kicking me. He is still head down, as far as I can tell, because of where Dr. Langer placed Fetal Doppler and found his heartbeat. I did have Logan, with me, but he was in his own little world once Dr. Langer gave him the measuring tape to play with so listening to the heartbeat didn't phase him. :)

I also asked about the cramping I have been getting and she said if it goes past the two hour mark and everything that I have tried has not worked that we need to go to the hospital. However, my pelvic pain is normal, just having more added weight to the uterus. We won't find out until our next appointment if I will be induced again... they need a measurement/estimate on what the baby might weigh. People tell me that the each baby gets bigger, so if Logan was 7 pounds and 12 ounces what are my chances that doodle bug could be 7 pounds 13 ounces... yeah, I know wishful thinking. Going back to my question about being induced though, Dr. Langer did mention that because I am small she really doesn't want me going past 40 weeks and definitely will induce me if baby is not here at 41 weeks. So again we'll see how my next appointment goes. She doesn't think I'll have to be induced though this time around. I guess we'll have to wait it out and see. I am still able to work out as long as I'm not having cramping, braxton hicks, or pelvic pain, so that made my day. I have really enjoyed working out during this pregnancy, and hope to keep it up until I deliver.

Here are my next belly pictures.

33 weeks pregnant and weighing in at 153 pounds. Next time around if there is a next time, I will also measure my belly when I take belly pictures just so I am able to really see a difference in my belly size.

Early Contractions, No Sleep, and More

2011-04-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

As I head into week 32 with eight weeks left to go I have been experiencing so many new things with this pregnancy that I didn't with my first. I have been having more cramping (similar to menstrual cramps) that last for about an hour, with few minute intervals here and there. I have been experiencing braxton hicks more frequently and sooner this time around, along with pelvic pressure. I haven't felt like I have been having labor contractions, but enough contractions to make me worry about delivering too early. I know women at this point just want the baby out, they're done with being pregnant, and want to start the new chapter. However, I just want this baby to stay in and bake to his 40 week deadline.

Doodle bug has been getting bigger and stronger, because I can see my whole stomach shift when he moves, and there is force behind those movements now. Some are starting get uncomfortable while other kicks here and there are gentle. My stomach looks like baby is already starting to drop, which if I can remember correctly isn't supposed to happen for another four to six weeks. EEKK!

I have continued to work out; but do to all these semi-contractions I'm not going every day anymore. I only go on days I feel energized but have no signs of braxton hicks, pelvic pain, or cramping. I so thoroughly enjoy working out and I feel less guilty when I sneak in a sweet here and there because of it. I have been doing tons better this time around with eating healthier foods. Again, I know my weight will go up more, but as of right now I have only gained 22 pounds so far. :)We'll see if my working out can keep the rest of the weight gain in check. I'm still able to fit into my size small pants, however, t-shirts I'm needing to go up... tummy is just growing. Wedding ring still fits and is easy to come on and off. Yay!

Sleeping is getting harder to do since the baby will be laying in a not-so-comfortable position, or he'll be up all night having a party in my belly while I sleep. Insomnia is a part of pregnancy that happens, but I don't think I have experienced that problem like I did when I was pregnant with Logan. I have been having water retention still, but only minor. Once I chug about eight glasses of water the swelling seems to go down.

The weather right now in Arizona is beautiful and so being pregnant right now is not bad at all. I've also been wearing tank tops every day, which has been a significant contribution to not over-heating. I'm not thrilled with my arms, but comfort is better than covering up, unlike what I did when I was pregnant with Logan.

See, pregnant with Logan at six months (26 weeks), in July.

Long sleeves and jean pants... what the heck was I thinking!?!

Well, next belly picture will be posted next week after I have my OB appointment, so look for doodle bugs updates.

Thirty Weeks Already!

2011-04-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well, since my stomach continues to grow so does my album of belly pictures. Hope you all enjoy doodle bug pictures.

Heading into 31 weeks Sunday! Yay, only nine more weeks to go!

Enjoying Our Spring Weather

2011-04-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Over the last two and half years as a mother I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every single season in my son's life. He is just such a wonderful little man who is constantly observing and learning his world around him. Chris and I just could not be more blessed!

Logan is thoroughly enjoying being a little boy, getting into things, smushing buggies with his finger, playing in muddy water, and more. His big thing right now is bubbles. Anytime we're at the store or playing out back he wants to have or blow bubbles around. Although the packaging say's for ages three and up, and for good reason, we still let him try to do it himself. What really ends up happening is he gets one or two good dips in with the bubble wand and then as he watches the bubbles float down to the ground he leans over to watch spilling the entire bubble liquid out. We can not help but to laugh when we hear his famous line, "Oh, no" followed by both of his hands to his face like Kevin in Home Alone. Since the weather has been so beautiful out lately we have been playing in the backyard as a family. Chris will make big bubbles with the bubble wand, Logan will chase after them, and me, well, I'm either taking pictures or catching this excitement on camera because these truly are precious moments to keep.

Daddy and Logan playing with bubbles.

I got one!

While Mommy Is Away... Logan Will Play.

2011-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

We knew this day was to come, but we didn't know it would be so soon...

While I was gone visiting my sister and nieces in Michigan a few weeks ago, daddy and Logan had quality time. I am so happy I was not here when this colorful event happened or we might have been down to only one child (the one I am currently carrying around in my belly). Logan's cuteness might have got him out of jail free, but knowing me, probably not.

A variety of colored semi-washable paint + an unsupervised toddler = a colorful toddler room

Since I was not here to experience this colorful event I am going off what I was told. I guess the day before Logan must have gotten hold of his washable paint set (which was up high on my computer desk, or so I thought it was high enough), and stashed it away somewhere in his room, because Chris did not see it out. Well, the following morning little man woke up around 4:30 or 5:00am, which is still bedtime and daddy told Logan he needed to go back to sleep. While Chris went back to bed Logan however decided to entertain himself and entertain himself he did. At about 6:45 or 7:00am Chris woke up to check on Logan realizing that it has been too quiet. As Chris opened Logan's door his jaw probably dropped to the floor. Logan had ripped open his box of washable paints and painted anything and everything within his reach.

Exhibit A

This was the only picture Chris captured, but lets just say this was just the small portion of the mass destruction our little man did. He got the carpet, all the walls, his new bedding set, bed railing, toy storage unit, closet, child proof gate, himself, his clothes, his plastic drawers, curtains, wood shutters, and more. His favorite color of choice as you can see was green (he was in the spirit of Saint Patrick's Day), but don't worry he didn't ignore the other colors.

Chris was already dealing with a headache at this time and you can only imagine how this mess made it worse, that and having to stare into the east facing window (where the sun rises in the morning) for about two hours just trying to get the paint out of the dry wall, shutters, carpet, and window seal. Before he moved onto the rest of the room.

See, better that it was on daddy's watch and not mommy's. Mommy has a short fuse when it comes to stuff like this. I'm sure daddy did too, but he probably handled it in a much better way. So as you can see this was a colorful day for Chris and might I add for Logan as well. I guess this is my payback that Chris had to suffer through. When I was younger, probably Logan's age, I got into nail polish and painted my baby sitter and my sister's body while they were sleeping, along with other furniture in the house, or so I've been told. I'm not sure I did that, I mean I was perfect!

So here's a special note to parents everywhere with young children. If someone gives your kids paint for a gift either return the gift right away, or store it away in a box out in the garage where little hands can not get ahold of it until they're adults or you will have the same disaster as we did.

Third Trimester Updates

2011-03-31T08:53:00.000-07:00

Aww, third trimester... almost to the finish line. This past week I have started to remember what third trimester was like for me the first time around, because it is beginning the same way this time around. Although I am going to try my hardest to continue working out at the gym everyday, I am finding myself running more and more out of energy. By the time 7:00pm rolls around, I'm ready to say good-night to the world. I suppose the upside about me going to bed rather is that I'm up for Logan's new morning time... 5:30, 6:00, or 6:30am (not to happy about the times, I must admit). However, the downside of going to bed early is I no longer have mommy time at night nor do I have time with Chris because I am so wiped by the end of the day. I am so blessed to have such an amazing, loving, and understanding husband. Other enjoyments of third trimester is being able to really feel the baby more. Knowing if I'm touching a foot, a hand, a elbow, etc. I thoroughly enjoy laying down at night on my side and being able to feel doodle bug move around so much. The coolest thing that I have felt was his heart beat. One night I was laying in bed next to Chris watching a show on Netflix and moved my hand to the lower part of my belly and felt the racing of his heart. He back must have been pushed up against my stomach at just the right angel for me to feel. I haven't felt it since, but it was such an amazing feeling.

All in all this pregnancy has been great. Yes, I have some discomfort, but I will gladly endure it all if it means having this little blessing. What third trimester brings... very little energy, braxton hicks, and some water retention here and there. While I was visiting my sister, brother-in-law, and nieces in Michigan (another entry for another time), I started having major braxton hicks coming on. For those who don't know, they are normal mini-contractions, but they aren't so normal if they're strong and last longer than an hour. Well, mine didn't go past the two hour mark, but they did last longer then an hour off and on for a few days. I'm pretty sure it was brought on by the stairs in my sister's house, helping her out with my nieces, cooking, running aorund doing errands, and trying to help clean, which was my whole reason for going to Michigan in the first place. However, I probably should have taken it easy here and there.

When I got back into town I had a doctor appointment the following day, and told Dr. Langer what was going on. She wasn't completely thrilled that my braxton hicks were lasting as long as they were, but neither was she alarmed. However, she did advise me that if I keep getting them and they past the two hour mark to call her as soon as possible. I remember getting them with Logan, but I think I was past 34 weeks, which in all honest is safer than 26 weeks at the time. I am having some water retention here and there in my feet, but nothing like it was with Logan, or not yet. Wedding ring still fits and comes on and off easily, which is a good sign for me.

Spring is finally here and oh how I have love and hate relationship with it. I enjoyed the time off while it lasted but unfortunately all the unpleasant stuff I have been dealing with on and off this year is back. I am really hoping this is caused my the pregnancy, because then I know it won't always be like this. I will always have my asthma, consistent headaches, and sinus problems, but I can't remember when I have had so many infections. I am trying my best to fight it off by using my Rhinocort medication and my over the counter Ocean Spray, which as of right now seems to be helping. However, the breathing troubles - I am unable to tell if that's due to the baby's resting spot, sinuses, or my asthma acting up again.What can I do!?!

In the coming weeks I will probably be posting more belly pictures, just so that I can have them on hand. I don't think my belly will grow more and more each week, but you never know. I feel as though I have had a more healthy approach with this pregnancy, but I'm trying not to assume that just because I have done well my body will bounce back faster. I would hate the disappointment. I will admit my sweet tooth is coming in stronger and stronger, but I am fighting it. Although I am working out everyday, I still haven't made it to a yoga class since I've been pregnant. But some exercise is better then none, right?

Chris and I have finally decided on two baby names for our little doodle bug. Now we're just waiting to see if he looks like either of them because if not it's back to the drawing board. Since we told our families right away that we were pregnant, and having a boy we have decided to not share the baby names... except for one other person. But we know they will not say a word. :)

Here's an entry that never got posted from a few weeks ago...

The Final Trimester and Random Thoughts.
Wow, where did the pregnancy go...? Well doodle bug we are in our final trimester, only fifteen more weeks until I get to hold you in my arms. I still have so many things I want to do before you arrive, but I feel as though the weeks are just flying by. I still need to finish up your big brother's big boy room, and then start work on your room, I have some cute ideas.

Last week we had our doctor appointment and I took your big brother Logan with me. He got to hear your heartbeat for the first time, and even though he wasn't fully paying attention I know he enjoyed hearing you. He continues to say hi to you, pat my belly, and gives you kisses. You are growing at a fast rate now and before you know it you'll have no room to move around. I do enjoy placing my bowl of cereal on my tummy and watching you move it up and down. You're still so gentle when you move that I'm not feeling any jabs.

I am now starting to feel the swelling in my legs and my feet, but again, that is normal...uncomfortable, but normal. Other than the swelling and lower back pain, I'm feeling great. Food is now my friend again, or certain foods I should say. My sinus seems to have cleared up some but I still have my bad days. Headaches still come and go, but that's just me. There are times when I get dizzy and need to rest, but I think that may be do to you doodle bug who might be laying on a nerve. I am pleased to announce that I am still able to wear my wedding ring... no fake ones yet. YAY! I am filling out more in weight and belly, but you are so worth it! You are just growing so big that I needed to say good-bye to pre-pregnancy pants and go to maternity.:) I have also found that my vulnerability continues on with this pregnancy as it did with your big brother. So strange how that happens. I must admit, hate that part about pregnancy.

Last week I got us all signed up at Scottsdale Healthcare at Shea, so now we're on file. Your only job now is to stay baking for the rest of the fifteen weeks and wait to be delivered at Scottsdale Healthcare. Once we're in the hospital and I get my epidural fill free to come quickly at that point. :) I'm still terrified of the epidural and all the things that could happen, but I don't do well handling the pain even if it is just for a few hours. There are still many things that can happen, but I have been trying not to think about them or if the thought do creep up I start to pray about them.

I haven't even thought about what to pack yet for the hospital, or who will come and stay with Logan in case we have to race to the hospital, but I'm sure I'll get that figured out... I hope. Any volunteers want to be on call...?

The entry wasn't completely finished, but I wanted to have it posted for my sake. Hope you've enjoyed the update. Look for more tummy pictures to come!

Updates Coming Soon

2011-03-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

There has been so much going on over here, I promise to post updates soon. Please keep checking back!

Has A Mind Of It's Own

2011-03-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

Here is the next belly picture at 27 weeks along, because my stomach has grown... some more.

Feels like I woke up one morning and my stomach grew overnight.

Weight is still the same, 146. With Logan at week 26 I was already at 150.

Selfishness

2011-03-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

People tell you that you never know just how selfish you really are until you get married, that I have found to be true. People also continue to tell you that even after being married for many years that when you bring children into the equation you again find out that you're still indeed selfish, and this again, is true. I know there are different levels of selfishness and I wouldn't rank myself high, but I would never rank myself low. Being in a relationship with my husband for almost ten years now has pointed my selfishness out to me from time to time, but my little man continues to show me on daily basis that I have not relinquished all of my selfishness either as a mom nor as a person. Can we ever be one hundred percent selfless?

Over this past week or I should say weeks I relive my daily activities/schedule with Logan in my head, and often, more time then not I find myself wishing I could go back and redo a certain scene or sometimes the entire day. When Logan is finally down to bed for the night that's when I start to analyze my actions. All he wants is for his mommy to continue to play with him, be by him, laugh with him, hold him, love on him, and I think I nail all of those. However, there are a couple of times throughout the day when I need to have a break from chasing him around the house, play in his room with him, going to the park or play ground areas at the mall, etc. I always feel guilty when I do this, but yet I still do it. Why? Well, I wish I had a wonderful, brilliant, or a justifiable reason to explain my actions, but in all honesty I do not... it's just me being selfish wanting a few minutes or hour(s) of my time to rest.

I am so blessed on so many levels, one for instance being able to stay at home with my son and share these precious moments with him. However, there are days when I feel like I blow it or take them for granted. I don't want to be that person and yet even though I realize this I still do it. Why? Are there other mothers out there like this who take breaks away from their children while they're still awake? I know I'm not perfect although I strive to be I will never accomplish it. But I would like to have less screw-ups as a wife and especially a mother.

Better Late Than Never

2011-03-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't get around to posting a belly picture on Monday, sorry. So here is one right after I got home from the gym today.

25 weeks pregnant and weighing in at 146 pounds

Logan wanted to be a part of the pictures.

As you all can see, the belly has taken on a mind of its own.

Will You Remember Me, The Way I Remember You?

2011-02-24T23:38:00.000-08:00

December 24, 2006

Lately I have felt that the time with my Mema is growing short, and although I feel this, I'm having a hard time bringing myself to visit her lately. In all honesty it has been two and half months since my last visit, and the last one wasn't the best visit that I have had. When I last visited Mema she had her same loving smile on her face when I walked into the room, her TV on watching millionaire, with my Christmas card nicely placed next Sir Issac (the raccoon I gave her when she was in the hospital several months back), on her bedside table. As I mentioned before this wasn't a good visit; allow me to elaborate. She looked healthy, aside from the fact that she had lost several more pounds and her clothes where hanging off of her, but that when we spoke to each other she no longer knew who I was. She didn't know my name right off the bat, she had to take several guesses, she didn't know my son's name nor did she know who Chris was. She kept talking about particular events in her life that I knew nothing of, and couldn't really give feed back on. I would just sit there smiling and nodding my head as she spoke. She was surprised to find out that I was pregnant, and that my sister was due with her fourth in two months time. I also remember sitting there next to her realizing that my biggest fear was finally happening, Mema was turning into an empty shell. Her body is just barely hanging on, but her mind and her memories were slowly fading away. She would talk about her ex-husband and how he had been there to see her (he's been dead for almost five years now, I think), that her parents call her everyday, and that my dad has passed away (which out of everyone she claims to have come to see her or call he is the only one still living).

My mom goes to visit her three to four times a week and gives me updates (which are never, never good). I've heard this before from other people and I hear it from my mom, that when people start seeing people from their past who have died then that means they're getting ready to leave this earth too. I don't know if this is true and I don't know what to really think of it, but all that I can really hope for is that God takes my Mema soon. As much as I would miss her I wouldn't wish this type of lifestyle on anybody. Having no control over what your mind and body are doing anymore, not really even living. I wouldn't want that life and I know others who wouldn't want it either. I know we have no control of over what happens to us and yes, this is just a part of life, because we were not designed to live in this world forever. Mema's health is getting worse, not only mentally but physically (I'll spare everyone details), and there doesn't seem to be much more anybody else can do.

Although, my mom probably won't ever show or admit the pain this is causing her I can only imagine. I pray that what Mema is going through right now doesn't happen to my parents, because it would be one of many, worst things that I would have to go through. I'm not sure I would be strong enough to see my parents through this. Crap, it's hard right now just seeing this happening to Mema...

Mema, you many never see this but I feel like my thoughts, my memories, and my feelings needs to be said.

Will You Remember Me, The Way I Remember You?

Mema I can remember so many things about you and the things we would do every now and then together. I would always look forward to your Sunday visits when I didn't have bowling tournaments, always looking forward to showing off my latest design, report papers, and projects to you and seeing your face light up with pride, always receiving cards from you with no rhyme or reason... just to tell me you're thinking of me and that you love me, always letting me borrow or telling me about the new Disney movies that were out or coming out, giving me my big collectible Fievel (that I still have somewhere in my parents attic), the way you taught me in a stern manner not to interrupt when someone else was talking, all your stories that you shared about your time as a girl and as a nurse when it was just the two of us, how you were always there believing in me, always laughing at my sarcastic remarks, taking me all the way to downtown Phoenix to see Fantasia when it first hit the big screen, and of course my list could just go on forever it seems. You always made me feel like I knew just the right gift to get you as long as it had penguins, Garfield, Eeyore, cats, and koala bears on it. I know children and parents have a different relationship than a grandchildren and grandparents, and as far as grandparents go I'm glad I had you. I never did get the grandparent that would bake with me, show me how to make a lot of things, do outdoor events with me, but I did have you Mema, you who continued to show me that you loved me in other ways. You were strict when it came to my behavior and my manners, and I probably got pissed about it when I was younger but thank you now, now that I'm older. I will always remember "your looks", heck they will forever live with me since mom has them, I have them, and yes, your grandson, Logan has them. I guess it is just your strong Irish, Russell blood.

Mema, thank you for being the best grandma that you knew how to be. I know that you are not perfect and that maybe you might have wanted to do things differently. But I wanted you to know that I understand, now being a parent myself, that things don't always happen the way we want them to and that you did your best... your best was the fact that you loved me and I knew it.

Although you no longer know who I am, where I am, or what my life is like anymore, I want you to know I will always remember you, your love, and our time together. I am sorry Mema that I have not been around more over the last few months, but please know you are always on my mind, in my prayers, and in my heart.

I love you and I will always be your Breezy.

Time Flies When You Are A Parent

2011-02-22T06:55:00.000-08:00

I have found myself going back through all the pregnancy websites checking out the development stages of our little one. What I realized this morning is that I am almost finished with my second trimester. Seventeen weeks to go! Wow! Time is just flying past me. I remember when I was pregnant with Logan, and it felt like it lasted a lifetime whereas this one doesn't seem to be lasting long at all. The only thing that I can think of is our little man is keeping me so busy that I don't realized how fast the weeks fly by now. I am excited in some ways and sad in others. Excited because I can not wait to meet our little kicker and hold him in my arms. But sad at the same time because I'm seeing again just how fast Logan is growing up and before I know it so will this little bundle inside me.

Logan has been growing in strides with his vocabulary, phrases, sentences, and sign language. I am so proud of him. The way he handles stuff and obeys us just consistently amazes us. He won't leave his room until he puts his toys away, when he sees trash he throws it away, his personality is so witty, spunky, and charming that I just shake my head in amazement. He is starting to throw tantrums a bit more these days, but he knows the penalty for them.

Next Monday I have my last four week check up and then I move to three week check ups. Seriously, this just blows my mind. So next belly picture will be posted on Monday. Again, people say each pregnancy is different and I have to agree with them. Little doodlebug has been so laid back that when he does move I'm flabbergasted. If my belly and weight wasn't getting bigger and going up I would forget that I'm pregnant. As of right now my weight is staying under control, although, I could do better with my choice in foods and working out more. I still have not yet made it to the gym, but I have every intention to next week when my schedule simmers down.

Well, mommy responsibilities are calling me, so we shall part our ways now.

Not An Innocent Stool

2011-02-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

The Paw Paw stool... not just a well made, handcrafted, fine art piece of wood, nor an innocent gift, but a stool that is every child's ticket into mischief and mayhem. I'm starting to wonder if Paw Paw knew what this stool was capable of after three children of his own, nine grandchildren, and now great grandchildren (not including if he's made any for friends or other relatives),...? Oh yes, unlike other children stools you buy at the retail stores, this stool was built at least, if not more, five inches higher up. (Head tilted, eye brow raised in questioning). Hmm...

Stool in question...? This stool my look innocent and harmless, but don't let it fool you.

Logan, as you all are aware, has been waking up rather early these last two weeks, and when I say early I mean 5:25, 6:00, 6:15, and 6:45 in the morning. I know to some of you might be thinking that's not early, but trust me, it is. Anyway, this morning was yet again the same as other mornings, as far as waking up early goes. As our alarm clock hit 5:25 this morning I heard Logan starting to wake up over the baby monitor (we're still going to use in Logan's room until other baby comes in June), and he started to get out of bed, proceeded to open his door and calls for mama. I slowly started getting out of bed and walking his way. Since it was still dark outside I told him that it's still bedtime (another thing that will be ending shortly once spring hits because the sun comes up earlier, *shakes fist at that thought*), he can either get back into bed or play quietly with his toys. So naturally like any two year old would do, he picked his toys. Fine! I on the other hand went back to bed for another two and half hours. Oh, yes, now the story is getting better for those who are reading, but not so much laughter for mommy (Okay, if I were truly honest with myself I would be rolling on the floor laughing at others by now if it didn't happen to me, sorry, sick and twisted sense of humor).

My mother's curse strikes yet again!

I got out of bed to go check on him because he had been extremely quiet for so long, I started to panic, not thinking he hurt himself; no, I would have heard screams. But oh crap, what did he get into? Yep, I was right, my panic came full force when I saw the stool edged in Logan's closet. See, in this closet I have placed on what would have been a high shelf all of Logan's diaper creams, fever medications, chapstick, toothpaste, thermometer, chalk, crayons, and more. This happened after an incident two weeks ago when he got into his expensive diaper cream, so I decided to move all diaper creams out of his reach. Now, before I begin I know some of you are thinking that should have been done in the beginning, but you see, Logan isn't like most children, he doesn't get into things...usually. Alright, so back to our morning's story. As I saw the mess, I saw the chap stick broken and misshapen, cough syrup bottles on the floor (thank goodness for child proof caps), ear thermometer and ear pieces scattered on the floor, the box of chalk laying around the room, toothpaste (empty with no lid) on the carpet, diaper creams not open, but on the floor, and lotion pump sitting over by his dresser.

PANIC, RIGHT? Right!

After investigating the damage that had been done, I proceeded to clean everything up, put everything back into his container bin, and move the bin up higher onto another high shelf in the closet that not even I can get to without standing on something. Bright side, there was no major damage done, unlike two weeks ago, but still, I'm blaming myself for underestimating what my son was capable of, and of course, the not-so-innocent stool.

I do have to say... it's a good thing God makes our children cute, at least to us the parents, because I don't think we would have made it to adulthood if he hadn't.

I love you Paw Paw, but I'm still going to be questioning your loving, endearing, and beautiful gift though. :)

Oh, and I just walked out to the living room to find this. After I just finished writing this lovely entry above.

Happy Saturday morning to everyone! Mine is apparently not going to get any easier today.

For You, My Unborn Son

2011-02-15T06:28:00.001-08:00

I write about your big brother all the time in my blog, but I haven't really written anything about you. So I thought I would write you a little message four months before I get to hold you.

Hello doodle bug! I have already decided that I will be calling you my doodle bug because it feels like you're doodling inside me every time I feel you move.

Although you have been more mellow in my tummy than your big brother was, I feel like I have already gotten to know you. From what I gather you seem to be very laid back, not wanting to kick me to much or hard but just enough for daddy and I to feel you and know that you're there. I think you're going to have the same temper as your daddy and big brother, which I am okay with. However, one thing I have noticed that you seem to take after me is being a picky eater. Over the last four months you weren't to crazy about the foods and smells that mommy liked, but you never turned down a steak... I like that. You're a night owl like your daddy. You don't really move around to much during the day, or that I can really feel, but when it comes time for me to go to bed around midnight or 1:00am you get all excited and start moving. Your big brother says hi to you every morning after he's done kissing you (my belly). Right now doodle bug you're the size of an spaghetti squash, which is eleven inches long and weighing in at one pound. Your heart rate has stayed in the 150's during this pregnancy, but the doctor continues to tell me that it's healthy. I trust her, she's a great doctor.

I love when I am laying down for bed or watching TV, you start to move around letting me know that you're just saying hi. I also enjoying feeling you when you have hiccups... I get the biggest kick out of that feeling. I keep trying to imagine what you're going to look like and be like, but I don't have a clue. I just hope you are healthy.

Well, in four more weeks we will be heading into our third and last trimester together and then have the rest of our lives with each other. I have been getting more back pains with you lately, but you're worth it. I have enjoyed this journey with you so far and can not wait for the next one to come.

Your daddy and I haven't decided on a name for you yet, but don't worry, we will, and it will be perfect just like you. We don't just pick any name, we chose a name for it's meaning, the way it flows, and if you look like that name. We have seven names picked out for you, but nothing is really popping out at us yet.

Well, doodle bug I'm going to get going to bed now and you, well, you're already awake. I love you and can not wait to get to hold you in my arms.

xoxoxox

Hello Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T18:35:00.000-08:00

This Valentine's Day has to be the best to date!

Before I continue on, allow me to welcome and introduce my new baby niece to the world who was born today.

Tara Lucille Augustine

She weighs 7lbs. 4oz. and she's 20 inches long.

Alright, onto our family Valentine's Day...
Since Chris and I will be having our Valentine's date later tonight, Logan celebrated with daddy last night. Little man ordered daddy his favorite pizzas from Papa John's, baked him sugar cookie heart cutouts for dessert, and topped everything off with a Valentine's card, hugs, and kisses. Someone set the bar high for mommy!

This morning mommy gave Logan his Valentine's Day card, his hugs and kisses, and heart shaped sugar cookies I decorated for him. Needless to say, I didn't have to fight him to eat it. :)

Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom!

Ever so sweetly licking the sugar off.

He was taking a picture of mommy.

One thing I did learn is to never buy my two year old (or any other children of mine) cards that play music every time the card gets opened. That's worst than a loud toy! At least with a loud toy you either turn it off or take out the batteries... not so much as a turn off switch or battery to take out with the cards. Also, for those who are wondering or thinking about mentioning, "Take a hammer to it, problem solved, right?" No, I don't have the heart to do that to my son's Valentine's card. He loves it too much and he enjoys that Mickey is on it.

Later this evening...

Tonight Chris and I had a great night with just being with each other. We really don't go all out or really even celebrate Valentine's Day, but since we had our friends offer to watch little man we couldn't resist a date night. Chris being the wonderful and loving husband that he is, he let me pick where to eat. Bhahahaha! I picked The Keg Steakhouse and Bar. Oh, and yes, I went all out! I got my nicely proportioned side salad with ranch, bread and butter rolls, baked potato, veggies, a twelve ounce New York strip steak, and my chocolate mud pie... yum! Yes, I cleaned all of my plates too. I know, those who know me are not surprised, but come on, that's impressive, right? Then after dinner Chris and I decided to walk around San Tan Mall and do a little shopping before we had to pick up our little man.

Since, Logan didn't take a nap today, and playing all night with his buddy Colin he passed out in the car on the way home. Fine by us, we got more quiet romantic time to be together. <3

Thanks Jeff and Kira for watching Logan for us!

Next Step In Parenting

2011-02-09T19:16:00.000-08:00

As I woke up this morning, around 3:45 in the morning, no thanks to my cat Pounce, I discovered that Logan was up too, and playing in his room. I'm not quite sure of what to think about this or even how to go about approaching this problem, if in fact this is a problem? How long has this been going on?

Yesterday morning Chris woke me up as he was coming to bed around 5:00 and after that I couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to get up. Well, while I was up I thought I would stick my head into Logan's room to make sure he was still covered up, since I thought the house was semi-cold. To my surprise he was up and awake in his bed. I thought if I got him some milk he would go back to sleep, but he never did. Is this just a phase right now, or is this a bad sleeping habit I need to address now?

My concerns about Logan being up so early in the morning while we're still sleeping are, the things that he could get into, or worst climb on top of and fall off because he still doesn't understand gravity. He's not being loud and disturbing us, so do I just disregard my over protective motherly instincts, and let him just play in his room until the sun comes up? We still have the baby monitor in his room, so we're still able to hear everything... do I just turn it off? Any parenting advice is much appreciated.

Other trials that I am facing right now are Logan's eating habits. He doesn't seem to really want anything to eat until around 10 or 11 'o clock in the morning. Then when he wakes up from his nap around 3 or sometimes 4 'o clock he still isn't hungry. I have to force at least one more meal on him before he goes to bed, but even that he fights me on. He has juice (until about noon, unless he's sick and needs the vitamins), milk, or water throughout the day, so at least he's staying hydrated, but only getting two meals a day doesn't seem like enough nutrition for a toddler. Again, is this just another phase he's going through? He seems to eat fine for everybody else, but me. Why? Heck, if I didn't know that I gave birth to him I would be questioning if he was even my son? Eating has never been a problem for me... that I know of.

Another habit he has picked up is spitting his juice or water into things. I'm not sure if I should stop him from watching mommy and daddy brush our teeth. We tell him it's okay to spit water after brushing teeth, but I'm not sure he's connecting the two. Any advice?

On a more brighter note, I have finally finished Logan's first year baby album on Shutterfly, which is being shipped to me as I speak, and I have completely updated his baby book. I thought that before any more time slips by me and before our next baby comes I should probably get that stuff taken care of. I still need to add photos into certain places in his book, but I'm waiting on the prints to come. Other then that I'm all caught up. Time really does fly by fast when you're an adult with a family.

30's Are The New 20's!

2011-02-07T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I have decided that "30 is the new 20" and I'm sure I'm not the first person who thought about this. Unlike some women I have spoken to who have not been excited about turning 30, I was. I don't feel old nor do I consider 30 old. Heck, if anything I feel more alive and in more control of my life, and who I am as a person. I no longer feel the need to compete in materialistic races to keep up with the Joneses. I really should clarify the competitive comment. I am still competitive by all means, but not about who looks better than me, who drives this car, who owns that house or any house, who has a better hair style, etc. I love the feeling of being content! I have finally learned to love myself, or rather my body, the good along with the bad.

Alright here was my exciting birthday bash... okay, not so much of a bash, but I still loved it.

A few Sundays ago I turned 30! I had so many scenarios in my head of what I wanted to do for my next big adventure in life, and well, as it turns out I didn't have anything planned. I thought about having a big party of our closest friends to celebrate with, but a lot of them either moved away, while others were taking a weekend get away, and I just didn't think it would be fun with one or two people, so I changed my mind on the big party. I also thought about planning a weekend trip somewhere out of state, but then we got surprise medical bills in and had to pay our quarterly taxes, so that idea went out the door. Then Chris thought about taking me to a high end resort for the weekend here in town, but I turned that idea down. As sweet as his gesture was, I thought, "What's the point?", since I am unable to get pedicures and messages because I'm not past week 21 or 25 in my pregnancy there are no places that will do prenatal messages/pedicures until I'm further along. Which, also throws out spas (of the jacuzzi sort) and baths. So really being at a resort would be semi-pointless during this time. But that's okay! Instead we stayed at home and had a nice and relaxing weekend with no parenting obligations. Thanks to Karen and Manny!

Friday night after dropping Logan off Chris took me out to eat at The Keg Steakhouse and Bar. I can not boast about this restaurant enough! Their food is just so mouthwatering. Okay, their steaks are. In all honesty that's the only thing that matters anyway! We don't go there a lot because, well, my plate will always cost us at least 30 dollars or more... if I include their delicious mud pie. However that night my mud pie was on the house. I don't know if the restaurant does this for everyone on their birthday (or in my case, birthday weekend) but that night they did. When the waitress asked us if we were celebrating I did not hold back by saying, "yep, I turn 30 this Sunday". We walked around for bit and then went home... I was so full. But it was so worth the stomach pains. :)

On Saturday, I slept in... late, but Chris had to work. He was trying his hardest not to work, but sometimes he can't avoid it, and has to make things happen. However, later that night we did end up going out to Red Robin to eat, since I was craving their french fries, salad, and ranch. I love that places are open later on the weekends!

Then Sunday arrived, my official birthday! I actually ruined Chris's breakfast-in-bed plans because I woke up before him, but he did go out to get all sorts of yummy foods to make that day... he even brought me back beautiful red colored roses and a card. Got to talk with my little man for a little while that day, which I loved. A part of me wished I got to spend my birthday with him, but the selfish part of me didn't want to have mommy responsibilities. What felt like all day, Chris just spent his time making me breakfast, I think lunch, and then making me a delicious steak dinner. Does this man know the way to this woman's heart or what!?! For those who don't know, I'd rather have good food than jewelry, clothes, shoes, or anything else. My parents were ecstatic when Chris married me because that meant they no longer had to feed me. :) After dinner we just had time together, watched some Big Bang Theory... season one, two, and three. Then called it a night.

When Monday morning came we had to wake up early to make to our OB/GYN appointment (the day we found out the sex of our little blessing), and then we went to Karen and Manny's to pick up little man.

All in all, I had a wonderful, relaxing, loving weekend! I am looking forward to my next birthday weekend... the big 40 baby! But that number can take it's time on getting here.

Hard Decisions

2011-02-03T13:08:00.000-08:00

There are just some things in life that are hard to do! This week I finally had to say good-bye to my cat Monty. He has been with me for eleven years through good and bad times. No, he didn't pass away, but in my heart it feels like he has. I finally had to resort to taking him back to my parent's house. My mom was not too thrilled about the idea (I don't blame her she already has a lot on her plate), and when my dad gets home from his business trip he's not going to be to happy with me either, but they and even I couldn't give him away to a stranger or shelter. Since we live in a rented house we have run out of options. If we owned the home the first thing to go would have been the flooring and would have gone to tile or wood, and then I wouldn't be so irritated by all of this. But since we don't own this home I had to take Monty back to my parents. I don't want this to be long term, but I also don't want to mentally scar him anymore with the constant moving back and forth from my house and my parents.

My parents brought me up to never have outdoor cats, to love all animals, to never give up your animals, to treat your pets like they're your kids, and spoil them like crazy. Monty was a loving cat who didn't really ever disobey except with one thing... pooping outside of the litter box. This didn't happen all the time, mostly when he thought the litter box was too full, and he would always poop on the rug outside of the litter box or the rug in my bathroom. Was this annoying... extremely so, but I loved him and just thought that was one of his annoying quirks. When Chris and I got married he wasn't to thrilled about having my cats because he knew what they would do, but he loved me, so my babies came with us.

When we lived in our apartment, Monty would continue to poop on the rug every now and then, but it wasn't until we moved into our rented house that he went from pooping on the rug just outside his box to pooping on our bed (always my side), on our couch (we're able to wash the sofa seats, nobody freak out), to the living room, family room, and hallway. This annoying habit went from being a slight problem to a big problem. Since we do not own this house and we told the owners our eleven year old cats were potty trained you can imagine what's going through my mind... "great, now we're going to have to pay for new carpeting in this place when it wasn't in the greatest condition when we moved in". Since this isn't our home I've been having to clean all of the messes up with soap and water hoping I wouldn't leave any stains like some chemical products do.

Well, now that I am pregnant Chris has had to take care of the dirty work. We figured out in the beginning Monty would only poop when the washer and dryer was going, so we got another cat box and placed it in my nice guest bathroom (which I hated the idea of, but wanted to give this method a try). For a while it was working, Monty wasn't pooping anywhere in the house, Chris and I thought we figured out the problem. Then he started again, so we took him to the vet to see what was wrong with him. Why was he acting this way? Why was he no longer pooping in the cat box? Was he not getting enough attention, maybe. After we had Logan my attention has been split and my cats went from being my kids to now being pets, or so I thought. However, after getting rid of Monty this week I realized I still think of my annoying fur balls as my kids. Anyway, we found out that he had cat hair built up in his intestines, so the vet took care of the pricey problem put Monty on antibiotics and that was that. Again we thought the problem was finally fixed, until last week. Yep, that's right he not only pooped once but twice in the family room. Chris (who has finally grown attached to Monty over the last four and half years) has been trying to save him from going to my parents. So he thought maybe if we went back down to one cat box, but kept the one in the bathroom that would be less confusing to him. In the back of my mind I knew this wouldn't fix the problem, but I still wasn't ready to give my cat up. Well, this week, three days ago to be exact Monty left us another lovely pile to find, only this time instead of the floor in the other rooms, or our bed he finally decided to go on the sofa for the first time. I feel like I just couldn't take this anymore and especially with a new baby coming I feel like I'm at my wits end. Chris must really love me and Monty because he decided to do more research to find out what else could be causing the problem. He came across a few articles that suggested that Monty may have feline IBS (irritable bowl syndrome), and that changing his diet may fix all of this. But I just can't push myself to be positive anymore. The only thing that came to my mind when he said change his diet until we find something that works is, "oh great, now we get to add throw up to the mix". When is enough enough? I told Chris that if my parents have luck with Monty and he's not pooping anymore outside the cat box and their diet fix his problem then we would bring him back, but I don't think I'm ever going to have my cat back. I don't see us buying a house anytime soon, so what else am I supposed to do? Any advice or suggestions are welcomed!

I feel like both of my cats are giving me more work to do when I already have enough on my plate with a toddler. I read the books about how animals could be after a baby is born, so we made sure they got enough attention and were slowly introduced to Logan. No they no longer get baths every month, but I figured they wouldn't mind losing that aspect.Yes, my tone is a little more harsh towards them when they have done something to piss me off that day, but on the days they actually act (semi-)normal I'm fine.

Pounce is having a difficult time now that Monty is gone, I'm not sure what else I can do. Out of any of the cats that I thought would have been gone would have been Pounce, he bites hard. I made a promise to Chris that if Pounce were to break skin with Logan he would need to go, as is Monty is the one that had to go. I love both of my cats, but I always watched out for Monty more from day one. When I bought them Monty was just a kitten who was skin and bones. I mean you could see this poor baby's rib cage, but yet, here I am going against what my parents bestowed in me and giving up my animal.

This week has been a very sad week and having Logan calling for Monty hasn't helped any. A part of me wants to go take Monty back and just suck this up, but I know next week when he does it again I'll be in the same mental state as I was Monday afternoon. I think the hardest part was hearing Logan saying sorry to Monty Monday night as we drove him to my parents, and hearing Pounce cry out every night this week since Monty has been gone. I feel like the worst human alive right now.

Sorry mom and dad for doing this, but thank you for opening up your home to my cat. I know he will be spoiled and taken care of.

Pregnancy Updates, Cravings, and Healthier Choices

2011-02-02T13:42:00.000-08:00

Well, the time has come, yep, that's right, food is my friend again. I'm not so sure how I feel about this though. A part of me was hoping that during this pregnancy I wouldn't want or crave sweets, and it was looking like that wasn't going to be the case. However, for the last two-three weeks, the sweet cravings have started. I don't want to starve myself or the baby, but I do want to be consuming healthier foods. I don't mind gaining pregnancy weight, that's just a must, but I rather it be baby and not all fat. Now that I know my body doesn't bounce back as quickly afterwards I like to gain the normal twenty five pounds instead of fifty five.

My body is craving more fruits and some salads, which I am pleased about. However, the annoying part about it is, right now the fruits I want are not really in season and we're paying what feels like an arm and a leg to get them. Another annoying factor is how fast fruits and veggies tend to good bad within two to three days... cough, cough, bananas, grapes, strawberries, and some apples.

Since I am now feeling semi better I feel that the time has come to get my butt back into the gym and do light weight lifting (my arms), and some safe cardio. I was doing great with working out the first five weeks of my pregnancy, until the nausea hit me. Not sure if I am going to have tons of energy, but like every beginning to working out you build your energy levels back up and that's what I need. Ironically my energy levels and nesting itch starts to kick in around 10:00pm, of course when everything is closed. So my goal is to get weight lifting and cardio done three to four times a week and into a yoga class twice a week. I've also thought about getting back into hiking, but not sure how my hiking buddy is doing since she's now starting her third trimester. But we shall see. :) However, this morning I did stumble across this BabyFit website, thinking I might try it out and see if it helps me stay on a healthier track. Looks kind of similar to my Fitness website that I use to keep track of my foods and cradio workouts, so I'm eager to try it out. If anybody has any other suggestions let me know.

My heartburn is still on the rise along with my acid reflux, which isn't to fun, to be honest, but oh well. I have felt some tenderness in my hips, legs, lower back, and sometimes feet. I continue to get headaches, but have to suck them up because there's nothing I can really take that will help. There has been some swelling in my feet but I only get that when I'm sitting in my computer chair or standing in the kitchen for long periods of time. My breathing has been better lately, but I still get inflammation with my sinuses. On the bright side, I still have feeling in my fingers, no swelling or retaining water anywhere, my stomach isn't really itching yet, still have an inch to half an inch left of my belly button, I can still wear my wedding ring and my non-pregnancy pants (but I am now having to leave the button unbutton).All in all, I am still enjoying everything about this pregnancy.

Earlier today I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Langer, going over last weeks ultrasound and she said everything from the ultrasound looked great. Yay! I did get the go ahead to start my working out routine again, just no heavy weights more than ten to fifteen pounds, no squats, no running (so sad, but I understand), and no lunges, but other then that I am free to do everything else. Today our little blessing's heart beat was around the 150's and going strong. I have one more four week appointment and then it's every three weeks after that until the last month of my third trimester. I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy seems to be going, but I know when the baby starts to run out of room in my tummy and crams his foot into my ribs a thousand times I'm sure I'll be ready for the pregnancy part to be over with. However, at that time I will have my little guy all snuggled into my arms, so I think it's a fair trade.

Big Boy Room and Potty Training!

2011-01-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks I have been slowly converting Logan's old room back into a baby's room and changing the guest room into Logan's new big boy room. We (or, I should say, I) wanted to continue on with his Pixar Cars theme, but they don't make sheets or comforters in a queen size bed. However, Chris did pick out a cute bed in a bag set for little man.His color scheme is red, black, white, and gray, but majority of the decor is red. As he gets older I feel like it would be easier to transition other kid colors with red than with black, gray, or white. Many boy things have red in them, so why not, right? I'm not going wild and crazy with the decor, since it's not our house, but the room will still look nice. I forgot to take before pictures (you would think as an interior designer I would know better), but I will post the after pictures when the rooms are complete.

I have almost finished both boys' rooms, which has been fun to decorate... well, Logan's that is. Since we're renting I can't paint the walls any certain colors... just boring white. Bah! But that's alright, I've enjoyed this much of the process already. Logan is doing so well with sleeping in his big boy bed. He doesn't really get out of bed too much to play and we've only had one falling accident, after that none so far. Knocking on wood as I speak.

I will also be trying my hand this week to really start in on the potty training. Logan has been showing signs now for a few months, but I just haven't had the energy nor have I felt like training him yet. He has two stools, toilet flush-able wet wipes, toilet seats, and foam hand soaps in both bathrooms. We are ready... wish me luck! I have no clue how to really go about doing this, but hopefully it won't be too painful during the teaching process.

Thought I Was Ready...

2011-01-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

Over the last week or two I have been slowly turning our guestroom into Logan's big boy room, so then the baby could have his old room. We would have had it the other way around, but breaking down a crib just to move it a few feet didn't make sense. Anyway... back to where I was going. So last night I went out and bought Logan's final piece to his bed, his railing. I kept thinking about how great it would be to have him in his new big boy room, until tonight.

As I walked in his room to cover him back up, like I have done every night since day one of bringing him home, tonight it hit me... my baby is no longer a baby. I know I am going to have more encounters of this fact, and I am not going to like those either. But in my mind Logan will always be my baby. He is growing up and I can not believe how fast he's growing too. I haven't mentioned this lately, but I really want my pause button please. Feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital all bundled and warm in my arms weighing no more than seven pounds twelve ounces. But there my little bundle of joyed lay now weighing in at twenty seven pounds.

Although he's in a queen size bed right now and still looks small in it, I know it is just a matter of time before I will be thinking back someday to this very moment. But I'm sure the next time I'll be thinking back to this very moment he won't be too small for that bed, but instead his feet will be hanging off the edges just like his daddy.

As I left Logan's room tonight I walked over to my husband saying that here I thought Logan wasn't going to be ready for this new change, but yet there he is sound asleep in his new room, while I'm over here sobbing because I know this is just another stage of life. I'm the one who wasn't ready after all. I know Logan isn't going to stay a baby forever, but does time have to be flying by so darn fast!?!

I've also been wondering off and on can I love another baby, another son, like I love Logan? I know I can, and I do have feelings for this little blessing growing inside me right now, but I often think am I going to favor Logan over his other siblings because he was my first...? Chris and mom have both told me that I will love this baby no matter what, but that I will love them in different ways. I'm still unsure...

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that's true because I hear about it and I see it from others who have more than just one child, but still doesn't help my self doubt that I get ever now and again. I know, just like other things that I have been told, I'll need to experience it to really get it, which I will in four months give or take. But I do wish I could just take a step into the future to see how this little blessing will be and how I will be towards my other son.

Is this normal? Someone please tell me it is!

Always Something

2011-01-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

When little ones get a hold of dental floss.

Logan was so proud of himself.

Drum Roll Please...

2011-01-24T21:51:00.000-08:00

Well, today was THE day that we found out what we're having...

Please welcome the next baby boy Heald to our blessed family.

Yep, that's right, Chris and I were both wrong about having a girl. This little guy is taking after his big brother already and not being shy about telling us he is all boy. :) I must say I am still surprised that we're having another boy. I love it, don't get me wrong, but I am surprised.

This just goes to show the that the old wives tale about low heart rates being girls is wrong. Today his heart rate was 154, but going strong. We got to see him sucking on his fingers, kicking his legs, moving his hands around, and more. The tech said his kidneys look fine, his heart has four chambers, brain looks good, lip, eyes, and chin looks good, spin looked very good, and he has ten fingers and ten toes.

We're so excited to meet our next little man in June! Now to think of boy baby names... hmmm.

As promised I have my current belly picture along with some extra ultrasound photos for you, enjoy!

Our little blessing

Face, Hand, and Body

Baby's Feet

Baby's Hands and Fingers

Here I am at 19 weeks and loving it!

Click on pictures to enlarge

Birthday Weekend

2011-01-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

I will try to get around to posting about my wonderful birthday weekend sometime this week.

Until then, please keep checking back.

Remembering Loved Ones

2011-01-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not quite sure how to start this entry, but I feel like I need to write my thoughts down about this topic/day in particular.

Today was a beautiful day for Grandpa Worthy's funeral. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and there was a nice light winter breeze blowing in the air.

Grandpa Worthy was not my actual grandpa, he's my sister's, but I have always considered him family and one of my grandparents. Today was a bittersweet good-bye to him. He's now with our heavenly father, in no more pain, with his love, Grandma Worthy and his other two grandchildren who passed away at a young age, and at peace. Although I don't have a ton of memories with Grandpa Worthy like my sister does I still have some that I can remember as a kid. At this morning's service, they talked about Grandpa and Grandma Worthy always being the house to go to, how they always loved kids, and had the biggest hearts any two people could have, and that is true. I wasn't related to them by blood, but they always made me feel welcomed, important, and loved when I was around. Even with my sister's dad I always felt like I mattered to him especially when it came to my schooling. That's another story for another day though. The point is they are a part of my family.

As I sat in the church listening to the ceremony, music, and watched a memorial video dedicated to him I thought about my memories that I had with the Worthy side of the family. I remember always wanting to go inside their house to hang out after dropping my sister off, because Grandpa and Grandma Worthy's house was just so much fun. I swear they had a jukebox in every room, which I loved, along with a huge pool table in the center of the family room, a nice size kitchen island that everybody gathered around to have conversations, and a honeycomb fire place in the corner next to huge archway, turquoise jewelry and kachina dolls displayed on multiple shelving along the wall.

Although Grandma Worthy was the bowler in the Worthy family and was the one I would see more of during my tournaments, Grandpa Worthy would still show up from time to time and watch me bowl, that always made me feel special. Anytime I would go over there after dropping my sister off, they always made it a point to ask me how my bowling was coming along and just in general how I was doing. When Grandma Worthy passed away in 1993 due to breast cancer (the same year my sister graduated high school) going over to their house to visit diminished for me. I don't remember feeling upset or too terribly saddened by this, I guess because I knew they were family and there are times you don't always get to see family after awhile.

As I walked along the cemetery this morning stopping at the Worthy mausoleum I looked at the dates of Grandma Worthy and of the cousins and all I could think about was how much the Worthy family has suffered during 1992-1993. Being only eleven and twelve during the two tragedies I never really could comprehend the hurt, the sadness, and loss my sister and the rest of her family endured. But today it hit me. As I looked at the cousins' resting place my mind went back to the night we got the call about their death, and I started to relive that night in my head. Then I slowly looked over at Grandma Worthy's resting place and that's when I lost it.

I am not a fan of funerals and I have been to more than my share of them, but I felt like I needed to go to Grandpa Worthy's. I needed closure. There was one funeral out of the many (and when I say many, I do mean many) that I did not make it to due to being sick. Still to this day I feel like I never have gotten closure and that was my brother-in-law's father's funeral. I never got the chance to say good-bye to Delmar properly and so although I have been sick with a sinus and ear infection for the last week, I felt like I needed to force myself to go to Grandpa Worthy's funeral to say my last good-bye. I know this isn't going to be my last funeral and I can feel another one or two coming on the horizon soon. I still can not get used to them.

Death is a part of life, I get that, but could it at least get easier to deal with as I get older...?

I thought I would share one last thing because it was so touching to me. On the back of Grandpa Worthy's program it says,

God saw you getting tired

and a cure was not to be

so he put his arms around you

and whispered "come to me"

With tearful eyes we watched you

and saw you pass away

and although we love you dearly

we could not make you stay

A golden heart stopped beating

hardworking hands at rest

God broke our hearts to prove to us

He only takes the best

Good-bye Grandpa Worthy. You will be missed.

So Proud!

2011-01-13T18:22:00.000-08:00

My brother-in-law is one amazing man. We are so very proud of him!

Col. David Augustine takes over at 122nd Fighter Wing: wane.com

Articles here about him:

Pregnancy Update

2011-01-11T19:51:00.000-08:00

In previous entries, I posted about how this pregnancy is going and how it differs from my pregnancy with Logan. I did leave out one piece of information, but not because I chose to but more because at the time I felt fine. Since October I have been having sinus infections, bronchitis, and problems breathing (low levels of oxygen flow). However, sinus infections or extra nasal congestion is typically normal during pregnancy and I had some nasal inflammation with Logan, but nothing to this extent. In October I had to be rushed in to the ER because I couldn't breathe and that's when I found out that I had bronchitis... and I was only a few weeks pregnant at this time, too. They gave me medication and a few weeks later I felt fine. Then December rolled around and the whole household got sick, but I didn't get the same symptoms as Logan or Chris. Nope, instead I lost my voice, had a respiratory infection, and couldn't breathe again. When I went to see my doctor he put me on a breathing machine to see where my levels where at... they were not good and borderline scary to him, especially since I'm pregnant. My breathing levels where below 50 percent of what my normal oxygen levels would be, which means the baby wasn't getting the oxygen he/she needs too.

So in December my doctor placed me on another type of asthma medication (classed "B", safe for pregnancy) and it's more or less for longer term use now. There are side-effects that can happen to the baby, but there would be more danger to me and the baby if I didn't take it. Such a hard thing to justify when it comes to the safe of my baby, but I am continuing to pray over the baby. The medication he has me on doesn't work as an emergency inhaler or nebulizer, but it will start to show improvements in two to three weeks time. Well, we're now into January and I had my follow-up doctors appointment last week and my breathing levels improved to 80 percent of normal, which my doctor was pleased about. My doctor still has me on the new medication, along with a few others to help control the inflammation in my sinuses. I felt great like I was recovering again until last night and early this morning. My oxygen levels feel low again where I feel like a gasping for air every breath I take, my inhaler isn't working or if it is that it really scary, and I haven't tried my nebulizer yet, which I will probably do in few hours.

I'm writing this entire more or less to again document what this pregnancy is like and for those who follow and like to know what's going on. I've been praying that throughout all of this our little one will be born healthy and strong, and nothing I have had prescribed to me has been damaging to our baby's development. I know ultimately this process is left in Gods hands, but it's still frightening to think about things that could happen. I try not to let myself go there because it does me no good or the baby, but I guess it's just one of the many things that come with being pregnant.

I am getting tired of taking prescribed medications that only seem to help for a little while, and then to go through the same thing again two or three weeks later.

Normal pregnancy related conditions that are showing up that I did have with my first are my lovely heartburns, acid reflex, the nesting itch, and my appetite is slowly coming back, but not much. Again, the only thing that seems to be new for me this time around is my trouble breathing and consistently being put on medications that only works short term.

On a brighter note, our little blessing is now the size of a baked potato and weighs about five ounces right now. The eyes and ears have moved into their final position, and the skeleton and umbilical cord (life line), begins to get stronger. Surprise news... Chris and I will be finding out what we're having Jan. 24th instead of the first week in February when I originally thought. Again, praying that everything is working properly, everything has fully developed, and looks normal. During this ultrasound appointment they check out everything, the size of the baby's heart, kidney's, check for ten fingers, ten toes, four chambers of the heart, the brain development, and more. This is a very long and intense ultrasound, but at the same time we get to see our baby and if we want to find out what we're having. So please be praying for the baby and myself that everything will be fine.

Next belly picture will be posted the day we find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Belly hasn't changed much since week 13. :)

Looking Over The Past Year

2011-01-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

I always get blown away each year when I look back and can see how God has touched my life and has made me into a better person, giving me more perspective on life.

Last night as I was driving to my father-in-law's house to hang out I started thinking about the past year of 2010, and what lessons God has taught me...

In a few weeks time I will be turning 30 years old and last night I came to the realization that for once I am perfectly content with myself and my life. Not saying that I'm done maturing and spiritually growing by any means, but that, as of right now this very moment in time I am content. I no longer really care who owns or has a bigger better house, or what car they drive, or the extra money that they have, etc. I have come to realize over this past year that yes, material things are nice and certainly help, but I'd rather have a husband who loves me no matter what, a son who chooses me over anybody else in the world, except for daddy (we're on even grounds there), live in a rented house, and have food on our table and in our stomachs. All in all that is priceless! I have been around people lately who reek of materialism and God has just opened my eyes more and more everyday to appreciate what I have. Do I wish I had this or that, of course, that's just being human. However, I don't feel the need anymore to keep up with the Jones' so to speak... I like that.

God has shown me humility this past year. I may not value a huge diamond ring, but my diamond was in another form of an object, a house. But it wasn't until the last several months that I have come to not value owning my own home as much. Would it be nice, of course, but there are way too many perks right now to not owning a home. The material things inside a home will never make a home a home, like I once thought, but that it is the memories that Chris, Logan, baby, and I will create with ourselves and with others that will make what ever place we're in a home. Don't get me wrong, I would love to furnish this house or any other house that we are in - heck who wouldn't? But even though you try to paint the fence white and grow the grass as green as it can be, doesn't always mean you have it all. I can definitely say that I have it all! God is the center of our marriage, and Chris and I have a one of a kind marriage that I would not trade for the world. We can be completely honest with each other, and love and accept each other for who we really are. That right there is priceless to me and I value that more than any house "diamond".

God has also shown me this year that I had double standards, which I was able to admit to, take responsibility for, and right now work through. I am grateful for that... I like challenges. I have had people in my life since I was... wee-high, so to speak, who I considered family without legally being family. However, in our extended family dynamics right now I am faced with the same situation. I consider one person family who is not legally family, but not others. I know time will change that because I can feel it or more like I am welcoming change. I don't want to be close minded or a hypocrite. However, I want there to be truth.

Other things God has shown me recently is my lack of patience, which I know will come with time, but doesn't mean I can't start trying harder now to get it. I find myself consistently praying to God for grace, patience, and sometimes humility... sometimes. Although I teach Logan things everyday, he really teaches me things everyday. He is such a wonderful little man who is brilliant like his daddy. Even on my trying days I still love being a mother to my son and a wife to my husband. I have also continued to struggle over this past year with being marked as a stay at home mom. It lessens each passing year, but still nonetheless I still struggle with it. For those who don't know, I found myself only being valuable when I brought in a paycheck attached to a W-2 at the end of the year. Well, being a stay at home I don't get a paycheck nor do I have that W-2. Instead, God continues to show me that my paycheck is in the compliments I get from others when they interact with or watch Logan. Cleaning and keeping a house clean is easy to me, it's like breathing, but raising a young man is hard work. I have just recently decided not to let the label "stay at home mom" affect me in a negative way any more. I continue to be thankful to be a stay at home mom because some moms don't get that opportunity whether they would take it or not. I AM BLESSED beyond measure.

Over this past year I also got to see that I was not the "employee" that I thought I was when I used to work in a retail store many years ago. I learned that I didn't deserve what I thought was owed to me... that hurt a lot when I learned that about myself.

I have a lot more that I've learned, which you can read about in older entries.This is just an overview.

I know that I have grown and learned more over this past year, but those were the big things that came to mind. So I will embrace this new year's learning and growth with open arms.

Second Trimester!

2011-01-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Why hello second trimester, how I have waited for thee!

Well baby blessing, we did it! We have made it to our second trimester and we're going strong. My energy has not returned, starting to get heartburn here and there (I'm not sure how much of that is due to eating spinach dip everyday), and eating food is still not on my first things to do in the morning, afternoon, or night list, but eh, what am I going to do!?! However, my cute little bump is growing, and I have already felt the baby move here and there. I still have a few more weeks to go before I feel his or her movements all the time, but it's still a sweet and cherished moment to remember.

Logan still isn't to sure about what mommy and daddy are talking about when we say there is a baby in mommy's belly, but he rubs his belly saying baby too. He will rub my belly and give it a kiss, which melts my heart. Logan is going to be such a great big brother and helper.

My perspective has changed so much with this pregnancy that I am so grateful. Yes, I have my days where I have a low body image, which has only happened maybe three times, but I shrug it off and rub my belly and smile. I will not have a negative attitude during this pregnancy! I have now been around too many other women who have or are going through their first pregnancies and all they do is complain. Sorry to those who had to suffer through mine the first time around... it's not pretty.

This coming week I have another OB appointment to hear our little blessing's heartbeat, which I can not wait for. But I am really looking forward to the first or second week of February when we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby. Anybody want to have a bet going with Chris and I on what we're having...? We're thinking this baby is going to be a little girl.

Well, since I never got around to posting a pregnancy update back in December I'll post it here so it's not lost in the archives.

This was from December 5, 2010:

Again, I wish I had more to write about with this pregnancy, but there really isn't to much to tell. Still losing weight, not having much of an appetite for food, but my cute bump is coming in. I can feel my hips widening again, which really doesn't feel all that great when I try to sleep, but maybe getting into yoga classes will help with that. This coming week Chris and I go in to listen to baby's heartbeat, so that will be good to hear.

Two more weeks and we hit second trimester... the fun trimester, or it was with Logan. Energy returns, nausea should go away (although, a part of me doesn't want it to, more or less weight control), should be able to feel the baby kick soon during this time, and we find out the sex. I've been having dreams that this little one is a girl, but we shall see.We really haven't thought about baby names too much, but we at least have one girls name that we agreed on. However, we just can't find the right middle name to go along with it.

Chris isn't stressing out as much or at least he's hiding it from me, but I'm always stressed when we get unexpected medical bills in the mail that we're having to pay out of pocket because our insurance sucks. So with this pregnancy being out of pocket I'm a little stress about especially if we have unexpected ultrasounds here and there, or other lab work that needs to be done. Praying for a healthy and smooth pregnancy with no complications. What I am really hoping for is that we are able to make it to Scottsdale's hospital in time before the delivery, but of course that's still six months away.

As of right now my feet/ankles still look normal, no water retention in my hands, no heartburns or acid reflex, and no numbness in my fingers as of yet. So yeah, not too much to really report, but more or less this is just a reminder to me of how this pregnancy is going.

Made My Day

2011-01-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

Whenever I get ready to go somewhere Logan is always in the bathroom watching me. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing...

Last night we moved the TV into our room just so Chris and I could curl up and watch a movie as we brought in the new year. The TV remained in our room all day today because neither of us wanted to move it. Well, this afternoon I decided to take a nap because lets face it after the week/weekend I have had I needed rest. So Daddy was in charge of watching little man. I put "Cars" on in our bedroom and Logan was sitting on our bed watching it while I drifted to sleep. Chris would come in and check on him frequently, but little man was too fast for him at the end...

Someone has been watching mommy put on mascara. He missed exactly where it should go, but at least he knows that it goes on the face. :)

Growing As A Parent

2010-12-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

Nights like this I find out just how much I need to have grace and patience for my little man. This week has been a trying week between Logan and myself. He is getting to that stage where he is trying to push his limits with me and I am at that stage where I am trying to hold my own ground with him. I must admit trying to hold my own ground with him would probably not be as trying as it is if I weren't pregnant and dealing with everything that comes with pregnancy. As it is, I am being stretched thin.

This morning started out great, got Logan up, changed his diaper, got him juice, snuggled on the sofa for a while, and then began cleaning the house. Logan loves helping me clean and help out in general, so I let him. He got out his vacuum cleaner while I got mine out and we vacuumed the floors. He got his broom out and I got mine to sweep the kitchen floors. But then our trouble started. I asked little man if he could take a card that I found in the kitchen and go place it on mommy or daddy's computer desk and he said no. I said, "okay" and placed it back on the counter top. He started to throw a fit because now he wanted it, so I gave in and gave it to him and asked him again to go set it on mommy or daddy's desk. He walked off and so I thought that's what he did... until I heard our bedroom door slam. I typically wouldn't be stressed or frustrated by this except Chris was trying to sleep after a long night of work. As I walked to our bedroom door to open it I found that it was locked. Logan had locked the door behind him and started talking/ knocking loudly at the bedroom door. Since we do not have keys for the bedroom doors we have to use a small flat head screwdriver to unlock our doors. Now hunting them down is no easy task since we're always moving around or taking them from Logan. Anyway, I finally got the door unlocked and Logan out of the bedroom door, and Chris fell back asleep. My temper was now short at this time, and for the rest of the afternoon.

When Chris woke up I asked if he could pray over me, because I felt like I was starting to feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I know my hormones are going in all directions, I am tired as can be and no matter how much sleep I get it doesn't help, and with not having much of an appetite I get cranky... with all that said I should try to have more control and grace for Logan.

Well, tonight as I started to make our bed, I found the card that I asked Logan to put on my desk, and I felt terrible. Little man must have only heard me say, "mommy and daddy" when he had the card and took the card to daddy instead of the computer desk. At that moment I had no words only feelings and bad thoughts about myself and my parenting. Although Logan won't understand mommy being humble right now, I can still try to show him tomorrow morning when he is awake how sorry I am and that I messed up.

God has blessed Chris and I with such a wonderful little boy that I sometimes forget that he's only two and not five, because he acts older than what he really is. I know children don't come with instruction manuals, although I wish they did, I still need to pray and remind myself to have grace, wisdom, and patience for my children. I am still growing and learning as a person and as a parent and I don't excuse my behavior, but I share this story so that I can return back to this very moment and remind myself of how much I need God's grace in my life.

My Husband Is BRILLIANT!

2010-12-17T21:01:00.000-08:00

So you would think after nine and half years of being together with my love his work and accomplishments would stop being impressive to me, right? Well, on the contrary it just makes me admire him more and more. He's not one to brag about his work, but then that's why he married me because I will do it for him.

Long story short, apparently this site called Delicious.com is/was getting ready to disappear, but Chris loved using it along with many others. Well, that did not stop my husband from coming up with his own better version of the app and make it his own. It's still very new seeing as he kicked it out in about eight to ten hours last night and still in alpha state as he puts it. But it has already had so many hits and word of mouth that it is becoming big news in the internet world.

He amazes me and constantly blows my mind with the things he develops. Proud little, but loud redheaded wife right here!

Check out the article written about his app right here. Check out his app 1R7.

Baby Bump Is Coming In

2010-12-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in awhile and I still have entries that need to be posted. But I have been extremely busy... got to love the holiday season. Hopefully I can get all the entries out next week sometime.

Until then, enjoy my last week of my first trimester baby bump pictures.

New Posts Are Up!

2010-11-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

So like I promised, I wrote new entries for this week, but just got around to posting them today. So if you scroll down you should notice some new ones... at least four.

Hope you enjoy! I still have more coming, so keep checking back.

Picture Up!

2010-11-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, like I promised here is the beginning of many belly pictures.

Enjoy!

Baby News

2010-11-18T20:19:00.000-08:00

I wished that I a had a lot to write about on this topic, but right now I don't. If I'm not feeling nauseous then I'm feeling tired, which really is all normal. I have a little baby bump already starting to show, but not really noticeable that I am aware of. I can still button up my jeans, but my belly is being squished in and leaving a muffin top hanging over my jeans now. So this week I went ahead and bought a belly band... I refuse to be forced into maternity bottoms so soon. I remember when I was pregnant the first time and thinking how cool the pants were... boom, pull down and pull up. But after 14 months (if not longer) of wearing maternity pants I'm good to not go rushing back into them. I will say that the belly band is nice when you're walking or standing, but a pain in the butt when you sit down and stand back up... always having to adjust.

Well our next appointment is the second week of December where we just go to listen to the heartbeat and ask questions if we have any. I must admit that I got spoiled with Logan because we had so many ultrasound pictures done. This time it won't be like that, so I won't see baby a lot. But as long as he or she is healthy and growing at the rate he or she is supposed to then I am okay with that. Then in January is probably when we find out the baby's sex... probably around my birthday. :)

Right now our little blessing is in the middle of week nine and is the size of a bean or grape. The transformation that a human life goes through still boggles my mind. I haven't gotten around to belly pictures, not because I am ashamed of my stomach, but just that the day goes by so fast when you're taking care of a toddler. By time he goes down for a nap I go down for one. When I wake up so does he, and then by time I even have free time or Chris has a little break it's dark outside and the lighting in the house sucks with our camera. But I will try to take a picture soon. I want documentation this time around. Especially since I really don't remember to much about the first pregnancy, the books were right, you lose the memory about being pregnant after awhile. Of course I can remember the big things... first time I felt Logan kick, how and where I was when I got the news we were pregnant, when we found out we were having a little boy, and the of course the night he was born. But any particular day and time is vague to me. So, which brings to my entry right now. After being pregnant I now know what to feel for, and I can tell when our little one is close by or moving around because my lower ab gets harder and I feel pressure there, so that part is cool.

This week I went shopping for winter sweaters, which was easy and hard at the same time. Since my stomach isn't sticking out yet it's hard to tell how fast my stomach will grow, so picking out sizes are hard right now. Do I buy sizes that fit me now and them need new sweaters two weeks from now or will they last me like my first pregnancy until end of second trimester!?! I'm hoping that the sweaters will be able to give some give when I need them to, because they are so sticking cute I don't want to take them back. Plus, they didn't have the next size anyways, so these need to work.

I have noticed that this baby does not have a sweet tooth right now, which is good, for my sake. But that also means there's a lot of other non-sweet foods that don't appeal to me. Good thing the baby doesn't need a whole lot of food right now because I'm just barley getting by with trying to keep some foods down. Since I've been pregnant I haven't a gained whole lot of weight, which I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I still had five more pounds to lose before getting back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, so does that help any by keeping those pounds on since I haven't gained much since then...? I guess a question to ask my doctor when I go in next. I haven't been to the gym in a month and I need to get back in there, but man all I want to do is sleep when I get mommy time.

I feel like in some ways we are so close to meeting our new blessing, but yet still so far away. I can feel June just right around the corner which, really isn't, but these last two months have seemed to just fly by. I mean for crying out loud next Thursday is Thanksgiving... didn't it just turn November first yesterday? Well, like with every good thing it takes time and right now our baby needs a lot of time to bake. I love flipping back through my pregnancy book and websites to see what my baby looks like each week. I feel like I get to know them better at least right now anyways when I can't really feel him or her just yet. But I know it won't be much longer. I've been told that I'll be able to feel the baby sooner this time around since I know what to feel for.

Chris and I are still excited to met our next addition. We keep trying to tell Logan that he is going to be a big brother and that there is a baby inside mommy's belly, but I don't he gets it just yet. Either way he is going to be a great big brother!

Well, I think I'll stop here for tonight... I hear my pillow calling my name.

Logan Turns Two!

2010-11-16T19:06:00.001-08:00

So this post should have been posted back in October, but seeing as his party had to be rescheduled due to my very bad case of bronchitis and Logan's ear infection we scheduled his birthday party for November 13th.

Although, we were missing people again this year for his birthday we still had a blast with those who were able to make it. We felt so loved and blessed to be able to share these special times with family and great friends. There wasn't a lot of little kids around this year, but I know that will change in time, especially next year. I think first and second birthdays are typically still for the parents really, because Logan isn't going to really remember to much of his birthday, which is okay. All he needed to do that day was have a blast and he did.

Logan dancing to the car music.

Crystal and Bailee

Forget lunch mommy, I want the cookies!

Logan rocking out to the electric guitar.

Logan, Colin, and Bailee were trying to show the grown-ups how to put a toy together.

The boys couldn't wait any longer for the grown-ups, so they started to make the toy work on its own.

This years the party theme was Pixar's Cars. Logan has been obsessed about watching that movie for weeks now. Every morning when we would wake up he would go running towards the DVD rack to find the Cars DVD. Not matter where we moved it he always found it. Now I know how Chris and my parents felt when I would watch the same movie over and over again. However, I'm much worse... I watch them over and over again in the same day for weeks on end. Maybe this is my come around.:)

Well, hats off to Caroline again... she did another amazing job on his birthdays cakes. He is going to be so spoiled thinking that it's normal to have two birthday cakes at birthday parties if this keeps up. :) Hahaha! But we all loved the variety in cake flavors. The wonderful flavors this year were Devil's food chocolate and a vanilla Marbled cake. Thank you so much Caroline for all the love and hard work you put into them.

Logan got so many great gifts this year, but the winner for being the LOUDEST toy with no turn off switch came from Uncle Tyler... revenge will be ours one day. :) Uncle Tyler got him a Pixar's Cars tricycle that is cute as can be. Now instead of Logan waking up every morning to go looking for his DVD he goes straight to his tricycle and pushes all the buttons that came attached with it. However, when we're watching TV in the morning Logan goes and grabs his other LOUD toy (this one has an off switch, but he knows how to turn it off and on) that he got from grandpa Teal, an electric guitar. Like I said he got so many great gifts that he enjoys playing with all of them during different time of the day. But he seems to pick the loud ones in the morning when mommy still wants quiet time.

Thanks to Audrey and my mom for taking pictures of his party and sending them to me I have lots to post. Every time I try to take pictures of events and gatherings I fail miserably. Thank you mom and Audrey.

My dad chatting with our dear old neighbors Reuven and Anna.

Audrey, Me Mee, and Paw Paw

The men hanging out

Singing happy birthday to the birthday boy

Colin helping the men out, while Logan sits to watch.

Uncle Tyler

Uncle Tyler and Aunt Audrey

Unlike most kids, Logan was done after opening one present, so I got Colin and Bailee's help. They did a great job!

Jack enjoying watching Colin help out.

Yeah, we need to get more furniture so people aren't having to sit on our floors. Maybe next year. :)

Couldn't quite reach the peddles, but he will. Uncle Tyler teaching him to ride.

Aunt Ellyn watching Logan

My mom, Edie

Caroline, Paw Paw, and Me Mee

Manny and Karsten

Audrey and my dad, Ron

Thanks again everyone for coming and celebrating his birthday with us. Dave, Cory, and Sutton, sorry for the confusion on the days... you three were missed.

What's New... Another Baby On The Way!

2010-11-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

People say that each pregnancy is different, well, I can now vouch for that. This pregnancy has been 180 degrees different so far. Not only did this pregnancy take us by surprise, me more than Chris, but I have never felt morning sickness like this before. I seem to be nauseated for the entire day and only really get an appetite before I head to bed.

I've had to put my working out on hold for a while because moving around a lot just adds to my nausea, but I'm hoping that I can get back into the gym soon. I remember being turned-off by some foods when I was pregnant with Logan but nothing like this. I've had to put my food blog on hold for the time being, which I am fine with... it's for a good cause. :)

So as of right now our little blessing is supposed to be due June 20th 2011, and we can not wait to meet him or her. Since we are using Dr. Langer again we will be delivering at Scottsdale Healthcare at Shea again. What a lovely hospital... lets hope we make it there before the baby is born, seeing as we now live 20-30 minutes away without traffic.

Baby at 7 weeks 1 day

Coming Up!

2010-11-14T21:09:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned! This week there will be new posts coming:

Logan's fun birthday party
Hanging out with great friends
Pregnancy/baby updates... hopefully with clearer pictures of belly forming
Everyday random thoughts that have been popping up in my head

Check back!

Floating On Cloud Nine

2010-11-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was going through some of my blogs that I follow I found that one of our friends actually posted an entire entry about my food blog. For that split moment I felt like a celebrity... silly I know. But it felt good to come across his blog and see a picture that I had taken of one of my yummy recipes.

EEEEEEEE! I am still so excited about it.

Trick-or-Treating With Friends

2010-11-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a great night! Chris, Logan, and myself went trick-or-treating with some friends of ours and their little ones. We had a great time!

This year was such a great year for Logan to go trick-or-treating... he thoroughly enjoyed it once he noticed they gave out candy. Funny how at age two little ones know what sweets are. Last year couldn't even get him to eat a lollipop and this year we had to stop him from digging into all of his candy as we walked from house to house. This year we spent Halloween with some friends of ours from church, the Kriegers, Morgans, and Crosses. We decided to go trick-or-treating in Scott and Crystal's neighborhood, which was great... every other house went all-out in decorations and there were families everywhere. What an awesome neighborhood to raise a family in.

We're missing Jeff, Kira, and Colin in this picture. Jeff was taking this wonderful picture and Kira, I think was off chasing her little man, Colin.

So again this year I decided to get Logan a more grown-up costume... one he wouldn't kill me for later on in life. This year our little man was a Motocross Rider or BMX Rider, which ever one you like to call it. He was so stinking CUTE! The costume did come with a mask and as I suspected he wouldn't have anything to do with, but that's alright I wanted to see his cute face anyways.

This picture was also taken by Jeff.

Loving his bike he got as a gift from Ruvnn and Anna

Mommy (I was dressed as a parent) and Logan

Daddy (TSA Screening Agent was Chris' scary costume) and Logan

All the kids were so adorable. Colin was dressed as Woody from Toy Story, and Bailee was a little flower/fairy... I think. While Bailee ran around getting her candy the boys decided to take control of her wagon and be pulled to every house. Bailee made them look bad. :) However, the boys did get out of the wagon after awhile to get their candy... they had to work for their sweets too. But seeing Bailee zooming through her neighborhood was adorable to watch.

Pictures taken by Jeff

Crystal did another fabulous job with decorations. Everything was perfect and beautiful... I mean scary. :) I wish I took lots of pictures of her decor, but sadly I did not. However, Jeff took a couple of pictures of her table spread, so you get to see some of her handywork.

Pictures taken by Jeff

Over all the night was a great night and the kids had a blast together. I look forward to seeing Logan growing up with Colin and Bailee. What blessed friendships those will be.

Thanks Jeff for letting me borrow/use the pictures you took.:)

Hope everybody else had a wonderful Halloween!

A New Adventure Awaits Us

2010-10-27T01:14:00.000-07:00

We decided again to share our good news with everyone for two reasons:

To celebrate our little blessing with us.
So everyone could pray for the baby and us.

We are so excited and can not wait to meet our new little Heald addition in June 2011.

Baby at 6 weeks 3 days (?)
10/27/10

Doctor was still unable to really pin point the due date so we go back in next week for another ultrasound to get a better idea.

What I have taken from my experience with my first pregnancy and my miscarriage is not to take anything for granted this time around. No matter how uncomfortable I get or how big I get, I am just so blessed that I am able to carry this baby. I will also remember not to complain this time around. My miscarriage made me realize so much. There will be documentation this time around, belly pictures... embracing everything that comes with my pregnancy, and ultrasound pictures.

I Thought I Was Fine...

2010-09-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

Over last couple of days I thought I was fine and moving forward... until tonight. I have my good days and I have my bad days, and although I do not fully understand why, I know it was for the best.

Last week Chris and I had a miscarriage. I wasn't pregnant long, but long enough to get all the same symptoms that I had with Logan. I was in the middle of week five when it happened. I guess if I'm going to have a miscarriage, earlier is better, right? We never got the positive sign back on the test, but like I said, I got every single pregnancy symptom you can think of. I wasn't myself either.

I'm fine when I don't hear about someone else's pregnancy or see pictures of little blessing being born. I'm not bitter, which I'm happy about, but I am sad. Chris and I have only told a select few about this, but I thought by me publicly announcing our news that would help my healing process more and acknowledge baby Heald number two.

We (I) wanted our pregnancy to be a surprise, so again we only told a select few that we were trying. We haven't been trying for very long, but a small part of me did think we get pregnant right away like we did the first time. I know that I have no control over what happens and I know that I will never be able to get an answer to my whys, but that doesn't stop me from continuing to ask.

I know our blog hasn't been filled with the most heart warming, great news lately, but well, that's life. We just have to remember to trust in God and know that He already has the right end to our story already written.

Life Isn't Always Fair

2010-09-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

I'm going through a season right now that makes me wonder if being a kid is better than being an adult.

When you're a kid you basically live in your own little world... everything is happy, innocent, and new. As an adult you're more aware of what really is happening in world, the feeling of safety is gone, nobody is innocent, and life is precious... every single life.

I have realize that I still don't have control over anything as an adult. Yes, there are things that I get to decide... what time I go to bed, eating sweets before dinner, what movie to watch on a Friday night, etc. What I have found that I don't have control over is my own body, cars breaking down at the most inconvenient time, grandparents getting older and their health deteriorating, unexpected bills, and more.

I know God only throws stuff at us that we can handle, but lately after what I have been going through I'm starting to wonder... can I actually handle it? Cause let me tell you, I feel like I am going to lose it. I feel like a walking time bomb that can go off at any second. Which is never a good thing for anybody, let alone a fiery redhead.

Have you ever been in such a state of sadness for so long that you're screaming trying to get out of it? Well, for the last seven weeks I have been in that state and it has only gotten worse... especially over the last couple of days.

When it rains it pours and things in my life right now feel like they are pouring. There is just so much going on it is hard to keep it all in.

Celebrating Nine Years!

2010-09-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago today I met the man I would be spending the rest of my life with!

I love you honey!

Memories

2010-08-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

For: Nana
From: Logan

Enjoy!

Stop Everything! We Have Found The TV Remote!

2010-08-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

So... a 120 hours later we have found our TV remote.

We have torn the whole house apart for the last five days and looked over this particular spot dozens of times, but tonight I decided to bring out the big guns, yes that's right... a flashlight.

Little man is better at hiding stuff than we are.

Making Daddy and Mommy Proud!

2010-08-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

This morning after we finished breakfast as a family our little man goes into the pantry, pulls out a Ziploc bag, and proceeds to put his leftover gingerbread pancakes away. Then he walks over to the refrigerator has us open the door for him as he places his leftovers inside and closes the door.

Daddy helps him hold open the bag.

Daddy is impressed.

He is so proud of himself.

I have a very organized little man and I LOVE IT!

He also likes to help mommy in the kitchen when I am cooking/baking. These pictures were taken last week when I was making chicken pot pie.

Yep! He knows how to carry the chair to the counter.

Needs to taste the food first... you know, to make sure it is okay to eat.

Has his wooden bowl over to side ready to mix the ingredients together.

See mommy, it's just that easy.

My little chef!

Things may take me twice as long now to make, but I love seeing him help me. This is just another moment and phase that is priceless.

Loving His BlizzCon Murky

2010-08-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

Too cute for words! A little Murky we brought back for little man last year after BlizzCon.

We're breaking him in early. Other blizzard geeks/nerds would not be happy to see that we gave this collectible to a toddler, but since when do we care what others think. :)

Get What You Paid For...

2010-08-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

Alright ladies, this entry is for you!

You all know the saying "get what you paid for", right? Well, it is true... to some extent!

Over the past couple of months I decided to try some experiments out with women products... from under garments, clothing apparel, to make-up.

Here is what I have found...

I knew to some extent that this was true when it comes to household renovations, designs, building contractors, technology, and yes, sometimes food brands. However, I never really thought to much about nor have I cared enough about products designed for women.

Although I hate to shop - yes, that's right, you heard me correctly - I have found that spending extra time and even that extra dollar can make a big difference in the quality of what I buy.

Allow me to elaborate...

I understand that money doesn't grow on trees, and there are some areas in a woman's life that need to be cut back during hard times, and that sometimes that saying "get what you paid for" doesn't always apply to everything. However, I have found that it does apply to undergarments and make-up in particular, and on occasions clothing apparel. Clothing can always be a hit or miss, I get that, but after a few months of trying out other women products, I don't want to go back unless I have to.

Until just a few months ago I would get my undergarments at Target, and my make-up and brushes at Walgreen's, CVS, and sometime Ulta, (the brushes and make-up would not be their name brand ones, so don't think less of this company). Well, it wasn't until six months ago I decided to spend the extra dollar and buy better quality merchandise.

Undergarments
Victoria Secret bras and other undergarments are amazing! Their bras especially continue to hold their shape, don't fade, and don't fall apart after two weeks. Yes, they do sell more than just lingerie and undergarments, but that is primarily their niche. Now I know what you're probably thinking, "spending $45 or more on one item is just ridiculous", and yes, I still have a hard time spending that on one item. But if taken care of, their undergarments will last for months (unless you get pregnant, gain or lose a ton of weight). So really when you think about it, in the long run you're saving money.

Make-Up
Now lets move onto make-up. I am not one that really cares if I don't have make-up on when I leave the house, but it is nice to wear it when I do. So like I said before, I would (and still do, from time to time) buy my make-up at alternate commercial stores that aren't primarily for just make-up. But for years now I could not bring myself to spend $35 on make-up or a brush. I broke down and bought quality produces... especially facial brushes.

Now ladies, you know there is a brush for every single make-up component that is out there, from eyebrow brushes, to blush brushes, to foundation brushes, to lip brushes, and...well, you get the idea. We know it doesn't just stop there! So maybe just buy one or two at a time if desired.

About five or six years ago my friend Nicole introduced me to Sephora, a retail store designed for women... they carry make-up, assorted brushes from facial to hair, perfume, spa treatments, and more. This place is wonderful! I know there are other high end make-up and produces out there, but I will stick with Sephora as my example.

I can not say enough good things so far about their products. Their brushes are pricey, but they hold up so well, and their make-up goes on as smooth as butter. I haven't transitioned all the way, because I still have a love for Neutrogena's foundation products, but Sephora's eye make-up and brushes are the best in my opinion. My other brushes got to the point that they would only last for three months if that, before they started to feel like pin pricks on my face and the bristles fell out. However, I haven't had that problem yet with Sephora's brushes. While I am at it, the brushes pick up the pigment easily that I don't go through so much make-up either. So again, I am saving money in the long run.

I like to think of it as I am going "Green" in some way... spend more upfront and use less in the long run.

Apparel
Clothing can be hit-or-miss, really. I shop at a number of stores, such as Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft, Black and White, J. Crew, Gap, Old Navy, and Target. There is still some truth here on quality, but and there is my BUT, even the "best quality" can have flaws.

So ladies with that said sometimes quality is better than quantity... in my opinion.

I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences. Would you agree or disagree?

New Designs, New Recipes, and More... To Come.

2010-08-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed already our blog has gone through a major face lift... along with my food blog too. I have been extremely busy over the last several months, but have finally found down time.

My food blog is active again, so go check out some tasty new recipes that will be coming your way soon.

Roll It, Shake It, Bake It, Make It

The majority of the recipes will be healthy ones, but there will be the occasional sweet treat recipes creeping their way in. Heck, I can't be expected to be good all the time. There will also be some high calorie, but yummy casserole dishes too.

As of right now my food blog will stay food-orientated, but might incorporate some interior design work, renovation ideas, and party planning designs later on. We shall see.

So until then I hope you all enjoy what new dishes are to come!

Time With Daddy

2010-08-03T08:35:00.000-07:00

I love times like these when I see my love and my love bug having their time together.

Tears On My Pillow

2010-07-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

Mema's favorite flower

Today was supposed to be a happy day. My Mema turned 84 years old today, but instead of fully rejoicing with her I began to cry. This evening as I carried on a conversation with her, I began to look around at her new surroundings, and observed her in her new environment, her room, her wheelchair, and her condition... my heart started to cry out to God.

Mema has now been diagnosed with Dementia, which is a form of Alzheimer's disease. I knew that this could happen one day and that loss of memory is just a part of growing older, but I don't think I fully grasped the reality of it happening to my grandma. I seriously and wholeheartedly thought that her mind would be the one thing that stayed intact.

As much as I want to be selfish and have Mema around to reminisce about old memories, make new memories, and experience more of life's precious gifts with her, I prayed to God this evening just to finally take her from me. I rather know that she is with our father, in good hands, not suffering anymore... than to be here. It is time for us to part our ways, for now. I rather that she still know my name, recognize me as Breezy, know that I love her, know and ask how Chris and Logan are doing, and more before turning into what I would call an empty shell...

Tonight as I examined Mema's "caretakers", her bedroom, and that... place... assisted living, it saddened me to an extent that I never thought was possible. Just when I thought I couldn't experience anymore sadness, heartache, or pain, something else comes along and slaps me in the face. I sat there watching Mema eat her dinner as she stared at the same piece of paper for 20 minutes. She kept saying that she wanted to go home and when I asked home with God or home to mom and dad she said, "I can't talk about it without crying"... I left it at that. After a few minutes of silence I asked her what she was thinking, and she replied with, "Oh Breezy, I am thinking about so much right now, but by time I try to say it, I forget it"...

After she had finished her dinner she wanted to put her feet up, so I tried to find a nurse that could help her put her foot stands back on her wheelchair. As I walked out of Mema's room to hunt down a nurse I saw tons of elderly people sitting around in wheelchairs all by themselves. They were at that stage, in that place I fear for Mema to be in... they were empty shells. Their bodies are still working, barley keeping them alive, but their minds are no longer. I looked at this older lady in a wheelchair who was to my right, her arms held up close to her chest, her hands wrapped in gauze, her eyes fixed on me, and she began to talk. But when she spoke she just babbled. I could only look at her for a short amount of time before I had to look away. I felt guilty for doing so, but I had to. As I looked around I noticed that there was nobody there to see them, talk with them, console them, love on them, or anything, and this pained me beyond measure. I had the sudden urge to grab Mema and take her home with me, just so she wouldn't have to live the remainder of her life probably there...

After finding someone to help us I walked back into Mema's room, she had a smile on her face... the same smile that appeared on her face when I first walked in her room to surprise her with birthday flowers and a balloon, and the same smile that appears every time she sees me. As I was getting ready to leave for the night I turned her TV on, so she would feel less alone in her room, gave her a hug, kissed her cheek, wished her a happy birthday, and told her that I loved her. She said, "I love you too Breezy, and I am so glad that Ron and Edith had you". I told her,"yes, I know, I'm perfect", and she laughed with a big smile on her face as I walked out the door...

Surprise Visitor

2010-07-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about our surprise visitor, but I think my lovely sister-in-law did a great job of writing about it on her blog. So check her entry out, Presents From Morocco.

Needless to say, I am still paranoid about finding another one crawling around the house.

For My Love

2010-07-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Although this past weekend and week has been heartbreaking, stressful, tiresome, and more, my husband continues to be there for me showing his neverending love.

On July 15, 2006 I married the man who has become my best friend, my partner, my lover, and the father on my child(ren). We have been together for almost nine years now, and of those nine, married for four. They have been the most wonderful, cherished, and magnificent times of my life... even during the trying times. I would say that I fall more and more in love with my husband each year, which would be true, but I actually fall in love with him more and more every single day. He is my rock that stands by me no matter what life throws at me, and for that I am always grateful. It took me twenty years, seven months, twenty two days, and a lot of frogs to find my better half... my prince. I'm not just saying he is my better half to earn brownie points or anything, heck I already have him, but I am just simply speaking the truth. My husband brings out the good in me, has allowed me to grow at my own pace, allows me the freedom I need to be who I am, and always demonstrates patience and grace... something that I still lack in, but I am learning.... especially patience.

The first night that I met Chris I knew he was meant for me... no joke. I remember telling my parents the night I met Chris that I just met this amazing man. Yes, that's right I said man because even though he was only 18 years old he was a man. There was just something about him that made me feel safe from day one. I also remember people telling me that when the right guy comes along you will just know, boy did I think that was crap. But it was true, I wasn't even looking for a husband let alone a relationship at the time and God brought Chris into my life at just the right time.

My husband and I have come so far together and yet we have so much further to go, but I thank God almost daily for sending him to me and I to him.

I have found my Mr. Darcy! I love you honey!

Looking Back

2010-07-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

Six years ago I made this video for my parent's 25th wedding anniversary, and so tonight when I was going through old pictures I came across it. So I thought I would post it for them as a reminder just how far they have come and just how much further they can go with each other.

Although times are tough along the way my parents always make it through together. I love you guys!

Aging Is A Fact Of Life

2010-07-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

Aging is just a fact of life that we all know is going to happen, we recognize it, talk about it, and have to accept it, right? Then why do I have in the back of my mind the idea that my parents and grandparents are going to live forever? Wishful thinking? Being naive? What?

Death is a part of life that we, I, must accept, but I don't have to like it nor welcome it. Even though I know my loved ones will be in a much better place than I am right now I don't want to let them go. Call me selfish - I don't care. I want my loved ones with me here on earth, a phone call or drive away.

Over the past four years or so I have seen my grandmother's health deteriorating slowly, which really saddens me. I feel like time is running out for me to really get to know her, be with her, and find out about her history and my family's history. She is slipping away so much that it pains me to be present to watch... I can't even imagine what she must be going through. Knowing that you are becoming a prisoner to your own body... that when you try to form a sentence, heck, even a word, that your body is shutting down on you and what you're thinking and what you want to say isn't coming out. I can't even begin to comprehend that because I am not there yet and don't ever want to go there. But my grandma is and that pains me beyond... can't even form the right words to express my sadness. My grandma has shown signs from time to time of her memory going, but nothing like she showed to me yesterday or this afternoon.

Yesterday my grandma had to be rushed to the ER not once, but twice, both times because she had slipped, falling flat on her back and splitting open her head. Mean while, we have been informed that she also has pneumonia to make matters worse.

Well, this afternoon I went back up to the hospital to visit her, check up on her, and to bring her a little stuffed animal, raccoon to be exact... that I named Sir Isaac (don't ask me why I picked that name, I just did), to keep her company while I was away. As I was sitting there chatting with Mema, (my grandmother), I sat and listened to her stories, which should be a delight to listen to, but they were not.

Allow me to explain...

During the two hours that I was there she told me her stories, but they weren't one new story after another, no, it was the same story over and over again. I wish I could be delighted in hearing it but yet I started to cry inside and out, because this showed me that her memory is slipping away. I have known about this for some time, have seen it from time to time, but this afternoon was the worst yet. As I sat there crying in silence I listened to Mema without interrupting, because I know that my time with my grandmother is slowly coming to an end. I don't want to think about it, really even talk about it, but I know I have to come to grips with it. I know we are never guaranteed tomorrow's breath no matter what age we are, but the older we get we know our time is coming to an end.

I have always known my grandmother to be a strong, stubborn, loving, supportive, encouraging, determined Irish red headed woman who has had so many health problems that I have lost count. But I always knew that she would pull through, because she's a fighter. However, right now I don't know how this is going to play out, and frankly it frightens me. In a week's time my grandmother is going to be turning 84 years old and I pray to God she makes it through to see it and many more. But I also know my grandmother is tired and wants to go home. She has told me, mentioned more than once yesterday, and will tell my mom frequently that she is ready to go. Selfishly I am not ready for her to go, even though I know it would probably be the best thing for her. She is really the only biological grandparent that I still have left. Yes, I still have my dad's mom who is still alive, but I don't even really know her. I have one or two memories of her but that is about it. My whole life I have only had one set of grandparents... my mom's mom and my dad's dad. I never met my mom's dad before he passed away, but I would hear about him and see his amazing paintings. I lost my grandpa, Pop (my dad's dad), when I was 17. He was everything to me, and now here I am again faced with the thought of possibly losing my grandmother soon...? I can't even fathom the thought.

I will say this... I am so thankful that God has allowed me the time that I have had with Mema thus far. He has kept her around to see me graduate high school... on time, with my original class, show off my mad skills (insert sly grin here), through my college design classes, mature into a young (cough, cough) woman, marry the most loving and wonderful man, and hold, watch, talk, and see my first born, which is what I wanted. God has answered my prayers, but yet, it is still not enough... I want more time with my Mema. I will be praying that I get that to.

Only Took Six Years... But I Got It.

2010-07-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

Humility is actually a good thing... believe it or not.

Lately, it seems like God has been teaching me a lot about humility. At first I didn't really like it... it was a sour and bitter taste to me. But now humility is less sour and bitter, and more sweet. Not that I want to consistently keep bumping into humility per say, but more that I welcome it when it does happen.

Today, I had to return a lot of items that I had purchased yesterday, and also, over the course of this year. No, I didn't suffer from buyers remorse, but rather unexpected expenses crept up on us. Anyway, as I went to three different retail stores to return my items, each sale associate was... polite, respectful, and do I dare say it... kind. All of those in which I was not when I worked in retail, I am ashamed to admit.

Allow me to explain...

I didn't always used to be rude, disrespectful, and unloving. No that resentment grew over the many years I worked retail. But that is still no excuse for my actions. I seriously started to HATE women because of what I would see them do at the stores I worked at. Wearing our clothes and then returning them, having their children pee on our clothes and then not buying them, cut off our clothing tag and sew them into another clothing item that wasn't ours, cut the magnetic tags off and shop lift, and let me tell you my list can go on and on... it only gets uglier too.

I would JUDGE all of these women who walked into my store. The first two years of my employment with the company I really didn't think much of it, maybe I was a little naive or maybe I was a good associate, the kind who was polite, respectful, and kind... I do not know, actually. But the more years I spent working in retail the uglier my heart got. I was a really hard worker, I would put in 40-50 hours when I was hourly and 50-80 hours when I was salary. I would do things that were asked of me, and yes, sometime grip about them later on, but I still did them. I thought I was OWED management promotions and more. But unfortunately I never got higher than assistant manager for my company. I was looked over multiple times for senior manager positions and even the prospect of store manager positions, and to be quite honest with you I could not understand why. I started to grow bitter towards certain people within my company because I thought that they didn't like me because I stood up for myself and others. But it wasn't that they didn't like me, it is just that they saw the ugly side of my heart towards these women who would abuse our return policy.

Six years later I finally get it! However, it took not just these three sales women to show me but many over this past year to show me my lack in client service skills that I once upon a time had. I also have to thank one of my friends for also showing me that even though women return items that they have worn doesn't make them a terrible human being. On the contrary, she is actually the complete opposite of terrible, and one of many kind hearted women I know.

So over this past year God has showed me humility and instead of me being resistant to it I welcome it with open arms, because I know he is changing me for the better. I know it stings and will probably always sting, but sting just reassures me that my heart isn't made of stone. I still have a long ways to go, but at least I feel as though I am making strides closer to the daughter God has in store for me. So I want to say thank you.

Lots Of Updates

2010-07-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have so much to fill everybody in on, so stay tuned for lots of updates coming your way. This months looks like it is going to be slower than the last four, so keep checking back for some semi interesting thoughts.

Happy belated 4th of July everyone!

What Can I Say...

2010-05-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

When you have a little one and it is too quiet in the house... you know something is going on.

Logan always keeps mommy on her toes!

Breakfast and Play Dates

2010-05-28T19:07:00.001-07:00

So this morning Logan and I had an enjoyable breakfast and great conversations with Kira, Colin, Crystal, and Bailee.

Then followed shortly after was play date time at the San Tan outdoor shopping mall.

Precious!

Really!?! More pictures?

They are too stinking cute!

We're Still Alive

2010-05-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

Hello world... I am back. My apologies for being away for so long.

We have just been crazy busy over here the last month, I just haven't had a chance to write. Between bridal showers, family in town, birthday parties, college graduations, mother's day, play dates, zoo visits, dinner with friends, more parties, hiking, running, family dinners, and special events, life has not been boring for us.

Chris continues to be hard at work, while I continue to stay busy with our 19 month old. Logan is growing and learning so much. We have been practicing our alphabet and numbers the last couple of weeks and he's picking them both up fairly quickly. A few weeks ago Logan brought one of his sing along books to us that sung, there was a farmer who had a dog and B-I-N-G-O was his name-o... after that Logan started to spell out B-I-N-G-O to us. Two very PROUD parents right here!

Earlier last month Chris, Logan, Nana, and myself got together for a wonderful picnic at Scottsdale Train Park. Logan had so much fun running around and exploring his environment. We're thinking of having his birthday party there this coming October, but we'll see.

Nana, Logan, and Chris enjoy our very tasty lunch.

Checking out the huge train going around the the track.

Pointing at the birds in the trees.

Nana and Logan playing.

Then two weeks ago my younger brother-in-law graduated Arizona State University, so naturally we celebrated his big achievement. I am the type of person who loves to host, throw parties, and celebrate, so we got a list of people he wanted to invite and threw him a graduation party. I had so much fun planning and decorating the house in maroon and gold colors, balloons, delicious dishes, and fun decorative sweet treats. I wish I would have taken pictures of the party, but sadly I did not. However, I will borrow pictures from my other in-laws who took pictures of his graduation ceremony. Better some pictures than none at all, right?

Umm, yeah, Tyler and some people. :)

Kayce and Ellyn waiting for Tyler's name to be called.

Family picture while waiting for the college grad.

The only way to see in a large crowd.

The best view in the house. Daddy and Logan.

Can we cheer yet?

Uncle Tyler! Over here!

Did he see us?

The cute love birds, (Emily and Tyler), after graduation.

Since the temperature is starting to climb here, in Arizona, Chris, Logan, and myself take family walks to the park as the sun starts to go down. I love this time of year... when the sun is going down and we get to look at the beautiful sun set along with a cool breeze. In our current neighborhood we have multiple parks located throughout, so we let our little man try a lot of them out. We have found that he's not a big fan of the slides right now, but we know it is only a matter of time. His favorite thing is the steering wheel that is placed in the big jungle gym area.

Running in the sand.

Where did my baby go!?!

This boy and steering wheels...

Looking at the handle to the slide.

Daddy's perspective.

Another wheel.

Since the weather is starting to warm up rather quickly in the mornings now, my hiking is starting to slow down quiet a bit. My running also looks like it is going to have to come to an end pretty soon, but only temporarily. I've done too much damage to my shins and calves that they need a good amount of time to heal, so instead I am going to pick up a yoga class. Now, I have never done yoga before and I am not sure if it will be my cup of tea, but I hear so many positive things about it. I'm so used to actively running, lifting, and more to get into shape... that's the only way I know how. But I hear yoga can do the same exact thing, so it's worth a shot, right? Plus, I hear that it'll take away stress in my life... yes, please.

Then this past weekend we, (Chris, Logan, and myself), got together with one half of our family to celebrate my mother-in-laws birthday. We all went down to The Farm at South Mountain and had a lovely brunch. If you have never been to this place it is a must go. This place not only has great food, beautiful surroundings, brilliant entertainment, but, literally has farm animals and flower gardens located throughout the grounds. They do close for the summer time since everything is outdoors and well, yeah, it gets to be 120 degrees here. So, nobody really wants to eat outside in that weather. But it is still a place to go during our cooler weather time.

Aunt Ellyn and Logan.

Nana and Logan enjoying lunch together.

Mouth full of fruit.

Mommy and Logan... see a resemblance?

Way too cute! Our chipmunk.

We also went to a LOST party extravaganza! Yes, that's right we are LOST fans. Well, my husband more than me, but I still enjoyed watching the series unfold when the suspense didn't freak me out. We had such a blast, thanks Carson and Kacie. We had BBQ pork, all sorts of delicious sides, and best of all was a well designed cake in the shape of the Island. Oh, and it tasted good too! I thoroughly enjoy gathering with friends and having such an amazing time.

Awesome looking cake!

Check out this cake Mike did!

So as you can tell we have been busy, but loving every minute of it.

You Know You Are Tired When...

2010-05-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

I know I am tired when I find a gadget that grabs my attention for long periods of time... ashamed to mention just how long.

This fish addon amused me to say the least. Every time I moved my mouse around the screen the little guys followed. Nothing significant about the gadget, really, but never the less it attracted my attention.

Check it out: http://abowman.com/google-modules/fish/

However, I did find the addon cute. :)

Fun At The Zoo

2010-05-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Since it has been almost a month since we were at the zoo... I can't really remember what I wanted to post about it. So instead here are some pictures and videos of that day.

Logan had a blast though!

Our little man is too cute. I love him so MUCH! (The other video will be coming soon once we can get the sound back on it.)

A duck swimming with tons of turtles and one turtle sunbathing.

Chilling!

Giraffes and zebras. The zebra in the middle of the picture is close to her due date.

Lazy otters and a cool looking dragon.

SPLASH!

Logan and Colin walking like they own the place.

Laughing non stop!

Kept starring at the spot where the water pops up from. Guess what happened next? Yep, he got splashed in the face and laughed.

He was surround by big kids, but that did not phase him.

Could not keep him away from the splash pad.

Our water baby!

Something Shiny and New!

2010-04-19T00:37:00.000-07:00

My honey bought me a shiny new... pony. Yep, my geek side is coming out, again.

My new outfit... to wear... with my new... shiny pony.

McKinsey's pony with sparkles all around her.

Mck's shiny pony in flight form.

Problem Fixed!

2010-04-18T13:17:00.001-07:00

Sorry to those who could not watch the You Tube video below. You can now click and watch.